Picking up the pieces
by Missthirdward
Summary: 'In which Alicia has to pick up the broken fragments whilst dealing with a broken heart caused upon Will whose need to seek revenge may have been stretched.' 5x15 did not happen, nor will it ever in this exaggerated completely AU story. Involves a lot of Grace, mother and child bonding, Will, Scandals and the possibility of a new world for Alicia to escape to.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay so, this story has literally been emotionally taunting my mind for months, and I guess i now have the time to put it on paper. A friend of mine has been begging me to start it, and it's been a joy so far, though i really don't know how my mind comes up with these things. I don't know what the perception of it will be of it, but again, this so ridiculously AU that it's almost laughable.**

**P.s, I am absolutely positive that this story will be no less than ten chapters, I don't want to drag it on till next year. And I just thought by mentioning that the scandal in this one doesn't necessarily involve Peter and 'woman' because believe it or not i actually like the guy (not enough to write for him) but you get where I'm coming from. All rights/everything goes to the writers and creators of the show.**

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><p>"You can leave your bags here honey." Her mother called out from the entry way of the large country house. The ceilings were high, the house had two wings and there were two floors designed for it, excluding the large wine seller in the ground. The ranch stretched across the large green fields and never ending pales of green lavish trees and tracks across the field. Veronica's latest husband, Bill, owned one of the finest horse ranches in Indiana. He was a nice guy, she enjoyed his company, but lately, watching her mother and her partner fall so in love wasn't something she wanted to be around, not after such a heartbreak from her recent divorce.<p>

The humiliation of her daughter's scandal though was far worse, worse in fact that the divorce proceedings of Alicia and Peter's weren't even a spice of interest towards the media. The photos of Grace released from tmz –shortly after the divorce- in which her naked body was displayed to the world brought humiliation upon their family more than the first scandal six years ago. She couldn't fathom the amount of times she held Grace after that, the endless tears, on her part as well, the whispered words, the bullying at school. There came a time where she just decided to drop everything, pack her and her daughter a suitcase and drive on to her mother's place.

That's how she's essentially ended up here, standing in front of the large staircase, stretching up like an oval to the second floor of the house. Grace's voice brought her back to reality. "Mom! Have you seen the view out from the balcony? It's amazing." The smile on her naïve daughter's face had been squandered for the last month, until now, and once she witnesses her sixteen year olds eye light up as Bill mentions that he'd love to take her for a ride on one of the horses, she knows she's made the right decision in coming here.

Her cell phone was loaded with messages from Peter when she reached her room and seated herself on the edge of the bed, she ignores them of course, and only answers to Cary and Zach. She smiled at the thought of her business partner, he had stood by her side through thick and thin in the last couple of months, between shifting office space into their new set of floors, and the stress of the law, he had handled all of it without much of a complaint.

_She sat still on the sofa as the television replayed the video footage of Peter walking onto the podium. The tears that rolled down her cheeks weren't full of sorrow or despair but rather disappointment. The marriage that she had fought to keep, had ultimately crumbled in due response of lack of communication. How was she even supposed to react to the trauma of it all?_

_"My wife is the most beautiful human being I have ever had the privilege of knowing. She raised my children, she taught them to love, she's taught them that everybody deserves to be treated with respect. She's taught me that everyone deserves a second chance. But the time has come to acknowledge our differences within our marriage and establish a conclusion that works best for our family. We appreciate privacy, therefore I wish that you will all respect that. Thank you." As she watched Peter descend off the stage with Eli in toe, she sighed, switched the channel and wrapped herself tighter in her blanket. _

_The sound of her doorbell ringing disrupted her need to fall asleep, furrowing her brows confused, she sighed once again before making her way towards the door._

_The sight of Cary standing on the other side with a bottle of red wine in his hand brought a smile to her features, rolling her eyes, she gestured for him to follow, grasped two wine glasses out of the cupboard and made her way back towards the living room._

_"I thought you might need this." He grinned,_

_"You have no idea." She mumbled._

_"So," he started,. "It's real now huh?"_

_"Yeap." _

_"How are you doing?"_

_"Besides from wanting to sink into a hole under the humiliation of what my marriage has become. I'm doing fine." She said, bringing a laugh out of him._

_"Sometimes you just have to do what needs to be done."_

_"You sound like you know what you're talking about?" she smirked_

_He shrugged, "I've had my fair share of heartbreaks."_

_"Maybe we should consider burning our new suite of offices in order to make ourselves feel better about life?" She grinned, watched as her friend laughed before shrugging._

_"Maybe so, then again, you don't necessarily want to be judged on your own mental state right?"_

_She laughed, amused at the idea of the public questioning her own psychotic behaviour. The comfortable silence that soon surfaced as she toyed with her glass was enough to send her into another world, Cary's words snapped her back, and she furrowed a brow at his hesitant behaviour. _

_"So… Apparently Will is in town."_

_She sighed, shaking her head, she took a sip from her glass. "There's nothing there anymore Cary. So please, let's not have this conversation."_

_He ignored her, "He asked me how you were. He sounded genuinely worried."_

_"Right." She said unfazed, "How long is he in town for?"_

_Will had been telecommuting between New York and Chicago, responsible for the offices there, he had been spending most time in New York though. The last she heard from him was at least a month ago, and even then, he had hardly said a word to her –other than legal procedures- nor did he mention anything referring to moving halfway across the country._

_Cary shrugged, "Kalinda said he's back for good. Their businesses here and in New York are doing well apparently."_

_"Well, good for them."_

_Cary smiled at her faintly, before gazing down. Allowing the silence to fall, she watched as he gazed back up to meet her eyes, and whispered only for her ears. "Did he cheat on you?"_

_She grinned at his mildness, "I have a feeling we're not talking about Will anymore?"-he laughed as a response._

_"No." she answered, "Peter and I just…. We drifted apart. There came a time where I'd just prefer to work, and most of the time he was working in Springfield." She sighed as she felt the tears spring in her eyes. "I feel like I've wasted twenty years of my life holding onto a marriage that was ultimately set to fail Cary. Do you have any idea how that feels?"_

_He shook his head, glumly. "No, and I wouldn't want to."_

_"You still have your children Alicia. I'm sure they aren't something that was set to fail."_

_She smiled at the thought of them, before shaking her head. "No, I guess not. The funny thing is, I'd do it all over again. Just to see them happy, just to let them have the childhood that I never had." The stray tear that escaped and cascaded down her cheek fell on the tip of her nose, wiping it away, she avoided his eyes, she refused to be vulnerable in front of him, even though he had seen her at her worst, her emotions were always carefully hidden, rarely did she ever breakdown. She figured that this occasion was one of those rare moments, and she trusted Cary enough to know that this would stay hidden and buried in the depth of these walls. _

_"My parents divorced when I was a child too." He recalled, "I was ten. And then they got back together when I was eighteen. It really messed me up at the time."_

_She laughed, "You were lucky. My parents divorced, and then never got back together. The next thing I knew, my mother had remarried. I graduated college, and then fell pregnant, a year later, I received a call from Owen. My father died from a heart attack." She sighed, "He was the only man in my life, that regardless, never broke my heart, he never lied to me, he never took advantage of me, he was always there."_

_"Will is sorry." Cary whispered, grasping her arm softly, he ran soft circles along it. "I know he is. He asks Kalinda about you all the time." He paused. "It was just a client Alicia." _

_Her eyes shot up to his and she shook her head, anger filling in her features. "He took advantage of me Cary!"_

_-"I know." he said softly, sighing, he allowed the silence to fill the area as his eyes landed on the television. From the corner of her eye, she caught his face slowly turn pale, and his eyes widen in shock. She furrowed her brow confused, following his gaze towards the screen, her heart immediately stopped._

_Calm Alicia was gone, she was long gone, and so was the broken woman just before, her emotions flailed, and she felt her entire body grumble at the sight that sat before her._

_Her breathing hitched, her body turned pale cold, and the empty glass of wine from her hand instantly fell from her grip, hitting the coffee table, it smashed into pieces._

_Images._

_Images of Grace exploded through the screen, images of her undressing for the shower, standing naked in her room as she dressed for the day. Her body was blurred out of course, but her face was clearly visible. The breaking news title had 'Florrick daughter following in her father's footsteps' printed all over it. _

The sound of her mother's voice interrupted her as she walked into the room. "Hey" Veronica said softly as she stood beside the door. "You okay? You looked as though you were in a completely different world."

She chuckled lightly and shook her head, "I'm fine, just tired. It's been a long day."

Her mother sat next to her on the edge of the bed and ran a hand through Alicia's silky hair. "Grace seems to be doing okay for a girl whose face has been on every talk show and plastid on television for the last three weeks."

Three weeks.

Had it really been that little since the conversation she had with Cary that night on her sofa? In reality, it was as though years of pain, living in somebody else's body had passed within the course of three simple weeks.

She smiled and nodded as a response, "She's strong. I think she's just happy to get away from Chicago for the weekend."

"You're welcome anytime. Bill loves having family here, It's a good distraction from maintaining those stupid horses out there." Veronica laughed, causing a grin to form on her features, though the smile didn't seem to last.

Instead, she took the chance to gaze around the room, the ceilings were high, the canopy bed had long bright white curtains draped around it, the entire half side of the room was covered in glass, with a view that stretched out towards the fields below, the room nestled in the back space of the house, hidden from all the chaos and noise in the front. She knew there was a reason to why her mother placed her in this room.

"So" Veronica began, hesitantly.

"So?"

"That voicemail was something…"

Alicia laughed, "I sent you that weeks ago mom."

"I know. I know. It was just good to hear you let it all out for once."

"I don't want to talk about him anymore, I don't wanna cry over it."

"I know. But, sometimes it's good to hear yourself say all those words. I still have it in my phone if you want to…."

"No." Alicia shook her head, sternly. "The last thing I want to do is listen to myself cry hysterically on a voice mail over someone…. who….. no longer has anything to do with my life. Delete the voice mail mom."

"But…"

"Just delete it."

There was a small sign or regret within her voice, sorrow laced in there, but she managed to hide it within that perfected poker face. She made her way downstairs with Veronica in tow, giving a tour of the house. It was large and antique, it was obvious, that before Veronica's arrival, the house hadn't received much maintenance. The exterior was large and white, brick walls, large patio that wrapped around the entire house and led out to gardens followed by the ranch. The horses were hidden within the farm house, they were trained horses, made for championship races. That was Bill's occupation, he trained horses from when they were young onwards, and sold them to the highest bidder once they were fully trained and old enough to participate in races.

She had always disliked farms, since she was a child, the scent of animals and manure disturbed her senses, but there was something about Bill's ranch that gave her a sense of comfort. It was tidy, it was extravagant, and it was large.

As they entered the farm house, she could distinctively see Grace and Bill in the far end towards the open doors. Another man, stood beside Bill as he held the leach to the horse Grace was currently patting with extreme delicacy. She passed many different types of horses, none of which captured her eye. The maternal instinct within her told her to keep focus on the rather large horse that stood over her daughter.

"Oh, Alicia! There you are. This is Michael" Bill gestured to the man standing beside him, "He's the ranch manager; takes care of all the horses throughout the ranch."

"Nice to meet you." She smiled, shaking his hand, the firmness in it took her off guard. That's when she was able to take full advantage of his appearance, his biceps were huge, and his broad chest stood out, he was at least six feet tall, and the cockiness within his features lowered her expectations of the stranger. She distinctively wrapped an arm around Grace's shoulder and took in the view of the horse before them.

It was stunning. She couldn't deny it. Her eyes gazed over it, she never had much interest towards them, nor any other animals for that fact, but she couldn't contradict the fact that this solid beauty standing before her was undeniably magnificent.

Its colour was dark black, so much so that it explained why it stood out the most. It radiated, it shined, its fur was coated back perfectly, and it was obvious that it's current occupant handled it with extra care. It's muscles and biceps curving along it's legs were almost fictional, the need to touch the large content was outweighing her thoughts. It's strong, masculine build outstood her, so much so that she had to reach her hand up and tiptoe in order to touch it's head, not that she attempted to do so, instead, she remained still and allowed her eyes to examine it fully.

"She's beautiful right mom?" Grace's voice interrupted her, turning to face her daughter's eyes. She swallowed.

"It's a she?"

"Her names Sapphire." Bill explained, "She's a full bread, won seven medals including three gold. She can't race anymore though."

"Why not?"

"She fractured one of her lower joints in the right leg a few years ago. She can still run but placing her in competitive races is too much of a risk, so for now, she's off limits to any buyers." He explained. She was reluctant to touch, but slowly led her hand up to the a side of the horses large frame, she patted softly, and immediately felt within the palm of her hand the horses strong biceps flinch before relaxing and brushing up against her touch. She nudged Alicia's shoulder in comfort, though it felt as though she were pushing forcefully, until Alicia ran her hand along her thin fur in a soft manner. She immediately felt herself falling for it than anything else.

"That's a first" she heard Michael mumble. "She's never reacted so calmly to a stranger before."

"Maybe she likes you mom?" Grace said, bringing a grin to her features.

"She can sense your demeanour," Veronica cut in. "All horses can sense when a human is sad or content. She can probably sense the pain you've been experiencing in the last month."

Alicia felt her entire face heat up with embarrassment and her eyes full with shock. "Mom!"

Veronica shook her off, "I know, I know, don't talk about it."

Her gaze fell back on the large beast standing before her, glancing up, she made eye contact with her and smiled faintly into the dark, deep, contrasted eyes of the hoarse balling into hers.

"She really does like you Alicia." Bill noted,

"Do you think you could teach me how to ride one someday?" she asked, making eye contact with her mother's husband, she watched as shock surfaced through the features of the three adults. Although, Michael seemed to be the one that stiffened and interfered, even under her robust glare. "It takes a while for someone to get used to riding horses, especially large ones. You can't just jump on one and expect them to take to you so easily…"

-"I've stood in front of thousands of people on live television in humiliation. I think I'd be able to handle it." She smiled dryly, managing to throw in the sternness of her voice and an icy glare.

Bill smiled at her determination, "How about tomorrow morning? Bright and early, we'll all take a ride, including your mother." She noted Veronica roll her eyes.

Alicia smiled over at Grace and pecked her forehead. "Can't wait."


	2. Chapter 2

_They stumbled into her apartment, she pulled Will by the tie into her lips as she struggled to find the light. As she stared into his eyes, they were filled with both desire and anger. How they had gotten here was inevitable, finding him at the bar after a heated court session was reasonably fine, until they started off on tequila and ended off at whiskey before she pressed her lips against his._

_She knew it was stupid, she knew the world would be heavily disappointed in her decision, but the feel of his lips against her neck sent courses of pleasure to spike through her. He pushed her onto the bed, causing a yelp of surprise to draw, as she stared up at him, she saw nothing in those dark chocolate brown eyes that she once love, that she still loved._

_He looked at her as if she weren't the woman he knew for more than twenty years, as if the hatred and fighting had taken its toll on the both of them. She tried her hardest to escape the thoughts, this was something they both wanted, she wasn't going to deny the fact that when he kissed her back, she felt that same electric composition when he grasped her hand and whispered 'lets get out of here'._

_When he entered her, she threw her head back and grasped tightly onto his hair, his pace was fast and erotic, when she reached up to press her lips against his, he remained his face into the curve of her neck, and refused to face her eyes._

_At the time, she hadn't thought much of it, the pain and pleasure that was circulating through her veins was too much of a distraction and when she woke up in the morning to find an empty bed, she sighed. _

_The idea that with all they had been through in the last year, his forgiveness of what she did may have succeeded, and that there was a possibility all the bad timing could finally subside and they could run off into the sun set together._

_She shook her head in frustration and made it her mission to call him tonight and talk it through, for real this time without the need for alcohol in the room. She was going to have it out with him whether he wanted to or not._

_As she arrived to work later that morning, she encountered the sight of Cary sitting against his desk, his head in his hands and papers deliberately thrown everywhere._

_"What's wrong?"_

_He sighed, "We lost the paisley case, I don't know how it happened, but Will had played our last witness down. It was as if he knew my plan on closing arguments. Someone from our side is feeding them information Alicia, it has to be. There's no other way he could have distinguished the evidence against his client."_

_Her mind spun, he wouldn't have. He couldn't have. Will was not that manipulative and evil to do something so disloyal. She had to grasp onto Cary's next words, "We lost him Alicia."_

_"What?"_

_"Paisley. He fired us, he's requested we transfer all his documents to Lockhart Gardner and he's hired them as counsel."_

_Her stomach turned as she rushed out of the firm, her mind twirled in a haste and as she rushed through the apartment, towards her bedroom, grasped her briefcase and searched for the papers that Cary had given her only the day before regarding their plan on closing the case, she realised, then and there that they were missing._

_All of them. _

_That was the last time she had ever spoken to him. _

"Mom? MOM!" Grace's voice caught her attention, gazing down towards the barn, she smiled as her daughter sat propped up on one of the horses, strapped in with one of the working boys standing below her.

"Are you coming or what?" Grace yelled out, shaking her head, she gestured off. "I'll check it out later!"

She sat braced comfortably against one of the chairs set on the patio, a sun hat shadowing her face and a book in her hands. She bathed in the silence that surfaced around her, the sound of birds and bees circulating the area gave her a sense of comfort.

"Come on Mrs Florrick, surely you can put the book down for five minutes and pick up a spade" The sound of Michael's voice interrupted the comfort of her thoughts, glancing up through her sunglasses, she rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Go away."

"Hey, I may be a hopeless romantic but that's no way for a woman to treat a stranger. What happened to the desire of wanting to learn how to ride a horse? I have an hour's worth of lunch break, your mother wants me to show you now."

"I had my turn early this morning, the horse that your boss gave me was hopeless and the size of a donkey. I'm not interested."

"You can ride my horse. I'll take you around the field."

She glanced up at him in surprise, surveying his appearance, she lifted an eyebrow. "Really?"

He laughed, "Don't look too surprised. I am getting paid for this after all.

She rolled her eyes, following after him, she kept her eyes firmly locked on Sapphire, who jogged in circuits around the turf. She was even more beautiful when she ran, her muscles reflexed, her coated fur shined in radiation from the suns reflections, and her legs marched in sink.

Michael showed her his horse, it was large and well-built but wasn't as great and outsized as the black beauty she met just the day before. Its skin was chocolate brown, and it's eyes were a reflection of mild and soft.

With a little assistance from Michael, she lifted herself onto the saddle, clutching onto it. Michael seemed reluctant at first, his eyes gazed over the horse nervously before he let go, and lifted himself onto the next horse. He held onto the tether as they rode in a steady pace, barely walking, all the while her eyes drifted off to Sapphire once again. The black beauty still seemed to circle the trail, she pounced around, ran at the speed of light around the field, and kept to herself.

Alicia felt her curiosity get the better of her. "Why doesn't she hang around all the other horses?"

Michael followed her gaze and grinned, "She likes to keep to herself. A bit of a loner to be exact, she doesn't like to share the field with anyone else, so when it's empty, Bill puts her out there for an hour and lets her ride off. It calms her, gives her a sense of comfort."

"I want to ride her one day."

She heard Michael laugh, turning to face him, she raised a brow and watched his face waver, into somewhat of shock. "You're serious?"

She nodded, "Yes, very much so. I want her."

He almost choked on his own saliva, "That's not….. I don't think that's such a great idea Mrs Florrick."

"And why not?"

"Because! Sapphire is the largest horse this ranch has. Throwing you on her would be a suicide attempt. One easy fall and you could break a bone. You can barely handle this horse, let alone her."

She threw him an icy glare, one that caused his face to stutter before shaking her head in frustration. "I'm not asking for the world, I just want to circle her around the field once. That's it. You can supervise us, you can even hold the leash. I just want to know what it feels like."

As she watched him stare at her, she held his gaze and observed him as he contemplated before sighing. "You'll have to ask Bill, but for now, you'll have to stick to the easy horses."

She smiled, proudly before nodding. "Deal. Next weekend I'm coming back, I'm sure I'll be ready by then."

He sighed, "Whatever."

Her Gaze shifted behind Michaels as her eyes fell on the sight of Grace falling off the horse, near the house, her heart stopped for a brief second as Grace went tumbling down the bank. Her foot moved on instinct as she coached the horse and ran, she felt like she was flying through air as she raced towards the house, and could vaguely hear Michael yelling out after her. As soon as she approached Grace, she quickly jumped off and ran towards her, Bill had already arrived by her side, toying with Graces ankle.

"Grace, are you okay?" she breathed heavily, kneeling beside her.

"My foot hurts."

"I think she's sprained her ankle, its okay, we just have to put ice on it." Bill said,

Alicia placed a hand on her forehead, wiped the small cut and pressed a kiss against it. "Okay, no more horse riding from now on."

She heard Michael speak up behind her, "I think your daughters just shown you a good example of what could happen if you continue to debate me on riding Sapphire."

All three pair of eyes surrounding her widened in shock, including Bills. She threw Michael a glare that was worth freezing the sun.

"What?" Grace said in shock, "Mom? You want to ride Sapphire?"

She sighed, "It was just something Michael and I were talking about. I was going to talk about it with Bill but grumpy here has beaten me to it." She grinned.

She heard Bill chuckle, before making eye contact with her. "Are you sure that's what you want Alicia?" he asked softly.

She smiled, and nodded her head. "Yes, I was thinking next weekend."

"Okay, next weekend it is then. Michael can take you."

She smiled up at him and grinned as he rolled his eyes, "Great."

She rested Grace in the living room, whilst strapping her leg, Veronica walked into the room with the phone in her hands. "It's for you. Eli."

Rolling her eyes, she grasped the phone against her shoulder whilst she massaged Grace's foot.

"What is it now Eli?"

There was a short silence against the other line, before Eli finally spoke, he sounded hesitant, reluctant and somewhat scared but he continued. "Alicia…" he stuttered. She furrowed a brow confused, never in her days of knowing him, did he ever sound so anxious, he was a stern man, unyielding and very demanding.

"What is it Eli?"

"Who was your voicemail about?"

Now she was confused. Shaking her head in puzzlement, she rested Graces foot on the sofa and made her way into the kitchen. "Eli, what are you talking about?"

"The voicemail, you sent to your mother."

Her eyes fell on Veronica outside the window, and anger surfaced through her. "Did you she tell you about my voicemail?!"

"No…no.."

"That was private Eli, between my mother and I, I'm going to kill her."

"Alicia listen to me." He sighed, his voice was hesitant and his breathing was somewhat rapid. "There's….. Someone has hacked into your mothers phone and obtained the voicemail…. Peter thinks it was the press, but we can't be for certain. They've….. uh, it's been released on cnn, it's replaying all over Chicago as we speak."

Time seemed to lapse around her, she could see from a far the sun closing in and the storm infolding her and her family once again, burying her alive into the dirt of whispered words behind her back, dirty photographers and reporters following her every step, Grace's tears and humiliation from a result of her father's political career, words she shared through a phone months ago after she discovered the length of hatred and animosity Will had towards her, the length of betrayal he would extend for payback and a few stupid papers.

Her voice broke, and she swallowed hard. "The….. the voicemail, I sent to my mother months ago has been released to the press?"

She wanted him to deny it, repudiate it and acknowledge it as just a joke but as she heard him sigh through the other line, she knew it wasn't a prank, she knew that it was real, and this was happening, once again.

"I think you should stay with your mother for a few more days. The media is going to hound you once you arrive back home, we'll keep in touch." There was a tone in the clarity of Eli's voice, as if he knew who her voicemail was based on, but elected the decision to avoid having the conversation for now, she didn't want to reflect back on the voicemail, the way her voice quivered as she cried through the phone, but this was only Eli after all, at least she could trust him with her words.

"Eli…" she hesitated, "What does the voicemail sound like?"

He sighed, "It has you sobbing hysterically over the phone. There's a line in there that clearly states you aren't talking about Peter. So the press are desperate at the moment, we won't tell who it's based on. But there are questions Alicia. We're trying to divert the topic with the media at the moment. I have to go."

"Wait Eli…" she sounded desperate, "You promise me you won't reveal who that voicemail was about. If the press find out, they'll _crucify_ him_." _

Eli sighed, "Don't worry Alicia. We won't, it isn't in our interest to. I can't deny the fact that Peter is willing to track him down and punch him through a wall though. Stay safe."

Before she could even respond, he hung up, she grasped the bench for support and ran a hand through her hair. Her gaze fell on the tap before her, the water was leaking, and the sound of the water tapping each second began to shadow her mind, sending her to a place, a memory she had been avoiding for months.

_She sat on the tiled floor of her kitchen, tears of betrayal cascading down her cheeks with_ _piles of paper work scattered along the kitchen floor, thrown out of anger. The sound of the tap leaking echoed the entire apartment. It had been a week since her encounter with Will, she thought she could get over it, bury it deep down within her emotions, left hidden under her poker face, but she felt herself letting go of all emotions as she found out, just this morning, that Will had packed up and moved to New York. _

_She hovered over the familiar number of her mother's on the phone, dialling. As expected. It reached to voicemail. Her mother's advice ran in repetition in her mind. 'Just call my phone, once it reaches voicemail, let all your emotions out, you'll feel ten times better once done, and you won't have to apologize for humiliating yourself in front of me.'_

_She naively wondered if this were something Veronica did in her spare time, leaving messages full of grief in order for a therapeutic outcome. _

_"I always wondered why you divorced repeatedly." She started off, "I never realised until I was married how hard it was. Trust seems to be an invaluable lesson these days, one that I can't seem to hold." Her voice broke. "__**He **__knew Peter and I were divorcing. I told him about the separation that night in the bar, I underestimated our friendship." She stumbled on her words. "I feel like I.. I know, I know him though, and I… I know his heart and I know what he wouldn't do to hurt me." She sighed. Wiped several stray tears away before continuing. "But I didn't realize that he could be full of so much hatred, I didn't realize he was still holding this grudge after a year and that he was willing to go that far in order to profit from it. I didn't realise that… by feeling so confident, feeling so great about myself and then it just be completely shattered….. by, by something so stupid." The tears were ongoing, and by now, it was difficult for her to breathe._

_"And I do…. I take full responsibility in what I did, and the betrayal and everything but no matter what… No one will ever understand my reasons why, not unless they have kids who mean the world to them. I'm constantly reminded of what he did in order to return the feeling of betrayal and he makes me feel crazy, he makes me feel like it's my fault…. That I deserved to be treated that way and I hate him for it. I don't think I deserve to be taken advantaged of in that way, and not even receive an explanation afterwards. I never felt so crushed before in my life mom, I.. I was in pain, and I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like the entire world is caving in on me."_

I was in pain.

She still is. In some alternative, she can still feel the fragmented pieces of her heart cracking when she found out that Will had –indeed- taken the files out of her briefcase whilst she was asleep after he repeatedly screwed her. That he had slept with her in order to steal them. That he had been planning this the whole time.

Though, she couldn't deny that that pain was slowly subsiding each time she laid eyes on that magnificent horse placed outside.

"I didn't realise that by feeling so confident, feeling so great about myself and then it just be completely shattered.. by… by something so stupid."

The sound of her own voice echoed her head, until she realised that she wasn't imagining it and that it was actually playing, whipping her head around to face the large living room, she took in the sight of her daughter standing right up front of the tv, whilst her mother and both Bill and Michael surrounded, their faces full of complete shock.

The title that flashed across cnn was scripted in large letters. _Alicia Florrick heart-breaking voicemail._

Grasping the remote, she quickly turned it off and pulled Grace into her arms.

"Mom…" she hesitated. "Who were you talking about?"

"Nobody that matters sweetheart. Nobody that matters."

Veronica was of course outraged afterwards, wondered what else could possibly have been hacked from her phone. Grace's mind seemed to be spinning. Reporters were calling Alicia's cell phone for comment every five minutes and Michael seemed to be the only one who was patient enough to sit beside her on the sofa as she held her daughter whilst cnn replayed the tape over and over again.

When Will's phone number flashed across the screen of her phone, she pressed ignore without much hesitation.

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><p><strong>I hope that gave a bit more context and understanding of the plot. I forgot to mention that this story will be written entirely from Alicia's point of view, I tried writing both Will's but it just gave away the whole meaning. Please, please review! It would be much appreciated! and feel free to ask any questions, i'll try my best to answer them.<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

Stepping out of the shower, she wrapped herself tight in a towel and made her way to the room. Her suitcase was fully packed for the drive back to Chicago, in which she couldn't deny that she was most definitely not looking forward to. She had 62 and in counting missed calls from Will, he was persistent, she had to give him credit for that, and she couldn't even fathom the amount of missed messages she received from a range of people, though the only individuals she only answered at the moment was her son, business partner and ex-husband.

Her eyes fell on the outfit Grace picked out for her displayed against the bed, a pair of brown ankle boots, the heel five inches high whilst a simple navy blue sweater laid above it, it was the jeans that took her off guard though.

"Grace!" She called out, walking in, Alicia grinned and raised a brow to her youngest.

"Are these those ridiculous expensive pants I brought for you the other day?"

"Yes, why?"

"Am I wearing them?"

"Yea" Grace nodded her head, Alicia glanced down at them.

"But they have rips in them."

Grace laughed, "That's how they were designed mom."

"Yes, I know, but they don't suit me. I've never worn this… type of thing."

Grace seemed to inherit her mother's eye roll, "Just try them on mom. Trust me, they'll suit you."

Grasping the clothes, she dressed in the bathroom and glanced at herself through the mirror. Her teenager was right, the dark navy jeans ended just above her ankles, and the rips displayed in them accentuated her need for change. And her blue sweater framed her top half like a glove, ending just below her bottom.

"See," Grace smiled, "I told you it would suit you."

Laughing, they made their way downstairs and into the front room where she embraced Bill and her mother into a tight hug.

"We'll be back in four days."

"You're welcome anytime." Bill smiled, smiling up at him, she embraced him in a tight hug. He was the first, and most definitely the only one of her mother's many companions in which she had a liking to. Alicia had only known him for less than a year, but the constant support he offered her and her children never ceased, the way he constantly adored her mother never lacked either and though she couldn't deny the fact that surrounding herself around the couple made her insides turn, she often wondered what it would feel like to have such a companion if she were lucky enough to tolerate one without damaging or _getting_ damaged in the process.

She left the country road feeling as though fate had just dawned on her, she had arrived here four days ago, with the knowledge that whatever was about to come was unexpected, she had driven herself into crazyland, riding horses and standing up against ranch men wasn't even in her vocabulary back in Chicago, the life she lived there compared to the short journey she had experienced over the course of four days had changed her.

And she wanted both; the idea that spending a weekend on the ranch whilst traveling back to Chicago to run her large business during the week excited her, proved her into something different, finding something different in life, and though the idea was slightly irrational, and she certainly would have to plan some type of timetable in order for it to work, she wanted it. She wanted control, she wanted a challenge, she wanted for stability in her personal life. And that did not involve anything to do with Will Gardner.

Reaching their apartment building, she heard Grace sigh as she noticed the van of reporters situated outside the lobby. Parking from a far, Alicia grabbed their bags and strapped it behind her shoulder before entwining hands with Grace and walking through the sea of reporters.

Their evasive questions and lurid voices came as a blur to her mind, she had gotten so used to it over the last month that acting as if no one were there was an ordinary occurrence to both her and her children nowadays. She felt Grace's grip tighten and pulled her closer, the doorman escorted her into the lobby and once the doors shut she let go of Graces grip and fell into the elevator.

"You okay?" she whispered over to the sixteen year old, nodding her head as a response, Grace brushed up against her touch as her mother ran a hand through her hair.

"Can you drop me off at church this afternoon?"

"Don't you have study?"

"No, I did it all at grandma's."

"Okay, I've gotta head down to the courthouse anyway, I can pick you up when church finishes."

"Maybe I can walk down to the courthouse afterwards? Watch the case?"

She smiled at Grace's naivetés; she still had to remind herself that her daughter wanted to be a lawyer, visiting Alicia when she was in court became one of Grace's many hobbies, and though she admired the concept, she had to admit, choosing to be a lawyer for a future occupation wasn't exactly something she aspired for her daughter, the law was crazy and evil in some ways, it was full of deceit, and the irrationality of what power brought on people, she wanted Grace to be a school teacher or a vet, anything but law.

She smiled, "Sure honey, whatever you want."

She dressed into a much more appropriate attire for the courtroom. Her dress was black and fitted her just like a glove, ending a few inches above her knees and highlighted her slim waist. She buttoned herself into her creamy white long coat and slipped into her stilettos.

Her heels clicked the floors of the courthouse as she made her way in, she ignored the attention and eyes that had grasped to her, and instead kept her gaze firmly locked on her phone as she scrolled through her emails. She smiled faintly at the guard who opened the door for her into the courtroom, and she immediately saw Cary sitting with their client at the defence table. She could vaguely see both Will and David Lee from her peripheral vision. She felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise as she felt Will's gaze on her, she couldn't deny that his endless calls sent to her phone over the weekend had everything to do with the voicemail that had been released to the press. He knew he was the main cause of her tears and that probably resonated with him more than ever.

"Hey!" Cary stated, surprised. "I didn't expect to see you. How was vacation?"

"It was great. I'm going back out this weekend." She began to remove her coat and allowed it to slip off her body effortlessly displaying her sexy curves and bear arms.

"It must have been a good outcome?"

"It was." She nodded, "Very therapeutic."

As she turned to grasp her seat, her eyes unconsciously met both Will and David's. She tried her best to feign surprise, as though it was the first time she noticed them, she couldn't deny that meeting Will's sad, chocolate brown eyes brought shivers upon her body.

"David. Will. Good to see you." She grinned, gave no them chance to respond and reclined back to her seat, preparing for the battle that she was ready to throw across David Lee's cunning smirk.

She fought as hard as she did during her first mock trial back in Georgetown, another concept that was also if not ironically linked with Will. She objected when necessary, never allowing David's words to settle, never giving him nor Will a chance to respond, and avoiding eye contact with Will as much as possible. What struck her the most though, was that within that whole hour, Will hadn't spoken a single word aloud, she wouldn't have noticed it if it weren't for his blatant lack of objecting, even when she verbally attacked the last witness on the stand, he hadn't fought to a challenge or object in anyway, and she couldn't ignore the heat of anger force in David's face. As she moved from the witness back to the defence table, her perfume lingered in the air, her eyes, as well as many others turned to the noise of the door opening followed by Grace, quietly making her way in and seating herself next to Robin. She felt Will's eyes on her then as well as many others, but ignored it.

Once the case was adjourned, she threw Grace her keys and told her she'd be there in a minute, grabbing her belongings, she and Cary made their way towards the middle of the room meeting the figures of the two men, who at one point, caused her many distress in the last years. "A settlement?" she grinned cunningly.

David sighed, before nodding his head.

She nodded her head in agreement. "Nothing less than seven figures." She smiled, then withdrawled her presence as she slid past both men, and outside the room. She was almost sure that that was the last of her evening with Will, and that she wouldn't have to endure the insides of her stomach turning each time she smelt his familiar cologne, or his intense gaze laced on her body.

Then she wouldn't have heard the voice calling out for her in the halls of the courtroom, she wouldn't have heard the heavy footsteps running after her, and she wouldn't have felt the warm hand grasp her own earning her full attention.

Her gaze shifted from the floor to his hand on hers, and immediately, she jerked away from his touch. The hateful and painful look she gave him brought so much distress and agony on his features than any moment before.

"Please." Will pleaded, his sultry eyes –Owen's interpretation of him, not hers – gave the impression that he hadn't slept in less than a week, and he had been struggling with the weight of the world on his shoulders; she didn't know why. After all, he wasn't the one whose face was plastid on television, he wasn't the one who had to suffer through another course of humiliation once again, he wasn't the one whose heart had been shattered –literally- a hundred times, he wasn't the solitary who had to hold her daughter as she cried herself to sleep at night, he wasn't the solitary who had to convince her son that studying, instead of coming back home was for the best even when all she wanted was for her teenagers to be home, safe and sound.

She couldn't even look him in the eye, it brought her too much pain and misery to her heart, so instead, she sighed, and kept her gaze on anything else but his. "What do you want Will?"

He stuttered his way through, he was hesitant at first, but tried his best to continue. "I – I've been trying to get a hold of you…"

"Yes, I know, I've seen all your seventy in total missed calls on my phone."

He sighed, "I want to talk Alicia. Please_, _I know I have no right in asking, but I just - we need to talk."

"We're talking here now Will. So get it out."

"No. This isn't a matter that is worth discussing in a corridor surrounded by people."

She forced herself into the agony of meeting his eyes, once done, she kept her tone clear and sharp. "I am not interested in what you have to say. Nor will I ever. So, whatever you have to say through your smart ego is going to go through one ear and out the other. I suggest you quit now and just forget it."

"I can't get you out of my head." He ignored her request, "That voice mail Alicia? I'm not _that_ naive to know that it is about me. I must have listened to it over a hundred times if not more. I get it, you're angry, and I broke you, and you'll never know how _sorry _I am, but I'm here, and I just want to talk, for five minutes, about the voice mail, about why I did it, about everything."

"What voice mail are you talking about Will?" She questioned, folding her arms, she raised a brow. She watched as a wave of confusion hit him, and continued.

"Are you referring to the one that was released to the press a few days ago, the private message that was only intended for my mother's ears, except brought humiliation on my family once again. Or, are you referring to the voice mail _you _left on my phone six years ago?"

His face went from confusion, to recognition, to comprehension and shock in a matter of seconds. He swallowed, baffled. "Wait, what are you talking about?"

"The voicemail. You left on my phone during Peter's press conference. Confessing your feelings towards me, what else could I be talking about?"

He shook his head, this time in frustration as well as puzzlement. "Wait- You told me that you never received the voice mail…"

"So you're not denying it?"

"YOU told me you never got it, you made me believe that you hadn't heard it!" he gaped in shock,

"That's because I didn't! I found out the night before – we – slept together. Eli told me." She shrugged and chose the need to avoid his gaze, this time, she kept her eyes on the wall.

The faint sign of recognition surfacing through his features was daunting, and almost believable. He swallowed tensely, "That's why you came into the bar that night?" he questioned.

"Yes." Her breath caught in her throat, and so she chose the final platform for the end of their discussion.

"Look Will, I can't do this anymore. The endless fighting, and hateful looks. I just don't have any energy or time for it. So whatever you want to say, save it, because I really am, not interested. I don't care." She threw her hands up, stating her point. "That night was… It was a mistake, I never should have let myself enter that bar, and I certainly shouldn't have allowed you into my home. It was a mistake, and it's ruined our friendship."

"Alicia, don't give up on us." he pleaded,

She stared baffled at him. Us? She wasn't even aware that there was an 'us'. He had never given her the impression that he wanted more –neither did she- but that didn't change anything. Her divorce was final, her face –and voice- was still displayed over national television, and her heart was still broken.

She sighed, "I have to go, my daughter is waiting for me." As she began to descend, she heard him sigh, before his warm hand grasped hers once again, and immediately, without knowing, she jerked away and felt her throat tighten. "Please don't touch me." She pleaded.

Even under the current circumstances, even under the knowledge that her hate towards him was boundless, the look of pure pain that washed over his face brought her more misery than the stains of her daughter's tears against her blouse.

She made her way out of the building with the strain of avoiding the desire to look back.

Once arriving home, Grace, like the true teenager she was, descended straight to her bedroom, while Alicia fell back on her own bed and sighed. The tears that were brimming were hard to avoid as she replayed the morning after she slept with Will. The shock and complete confusion she experienced once finding out of what his true intentions were that night, discovering how much hatred he really held towards her, how much her betrayal had really resonated through him.

She hated him, she hated what he had done to her, she hated that his doing had caused her so many tears, she hated that he had caused her so much pain to the point where she actually listened to her mother's opinion which didn't exactly lead her to the most elite of places.

She hated how his shampoo smelt like strawberry's, she hated how his smile still seemed to make her heart skip a beat, she hated how they were very much the same people in that winning and caring for each other came hand in hand, she hated how he stared at her when he was in pain, she hated how no matter what, even under the coldest of Chicago's winter weather, his skin was constantly warm, she hated how his cologne was the same since Georgetown, she hated how he knew her like the back of his hand, she hated that even under the pain he had caused her, she couldn't get him out of her head.

She hated how she still loved him.

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><p>AN: I know, it's short, but it was a chapter that was important to the story-line, especially the end sequence. Though the next chapter is gloriously long and it has a bit more context to Will's point of view, but you have to understand that it's all through Alicia's perception; it'll be up soon anyway. Thanks for the reviews, I seriously was not expecting people to have interest in this, so thanks again!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N; The dress in this chain is the one Julianna wore at the golden globes-2013, because i just _had_ to add it in. Thanks for the feedback guys!

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><p>She made her way into the large mansion, with the intention that tonight, she was going to let go, enjoy the atmosphere, be as sociable as possible even under the circumstances, and ignore the many gazes that she was sure to meet as soon as she entered that gala.<p>

Her gown was magnificent, and she was well aware of it. It was Grace's choice, a very revealing one in fact. It's detail was lace designed and black antique patterns spiked around it. The entire design was see-through, and so underneath, was a layer of sandstone colour, matching the tone of her porcelain skin and hiding what lay underneath. She felt as though she were attending an award show, it was too much, it was exposing, and it was the unusual for her, but she couldn't deny that when the taxi driver complimented her on it, she caught his eyes glaze over her a few times through the rear view mirror.

It concealed her entire front half, but the back was completely –if not obvious- exposed in a way which made her feel on air. It was completely displayed bear, her spine and bone structure stood out from her shoulders continuing down and ending just above her bottom. The ends of the gown were cut on both sides into a thin line that caught up to her knees, displaying her toned legs and high stilettos. Her hair was tied into a sleek ponytail, slightly unusual to her typical routine and her make up reflected her skin colour.

She was stunning, and she was aware that her gown would attract a lot of unwanted attention, which made her feel queasy, made her feel nervous.

She could vaguely see from a far Diane and Will sitting in one of the tables near the stage, fortunately, her and Cary's table was situated across the room, but that did not stop the eyes that focused on her as she glided in between tables and brushed up against peoples shoulders, allowing her perfume to radiate among her presence.

The heat of Will's eyes, among the rest of Lockhart Gardner's associates brought her anxiety within breathing, knowing that Will's eyes were focused on her, knowing that he knew she was in the room, knowing that his thoughts were most likely resurfacing back to their short conversation just the day before, caused her inner nerves to build.

She smiled as Cary approached her, with one –noticeably- striking man beside him. "Alicia. This is Mark Jonas, he's in charge of the top marketing software's throughout Chicago and New York."

She smiled, "Right. The man I believe is looking for outside counsel for his legitimate business?" She grinned.

He nodded his head as a response, when she gestured her hand out to shake his, he moved his class of wine into his other hand and used his right to grasp her fingers and bring them up to his lips, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you Alicia. You're even more stunning in person."

She stared down at him amazed, before shifting her gaze to Cary, raising a brow questionably, he just shrugged as a response. She cleared her throat, "Well, thank you Mr Jonas, I appreciate it."

"Please. Call me Mark. Can I get you a drink?" he grinned, his dark blue eyes were captivating to her.

She smiled, "Well, it depends, have you decided to ship your business in with my firm yet?" she laughed.

He smiled cunningly, "You must give a man some time Alicia. I have to test the waters first."

She rolled her eyes half-heartedly, "Fine. Red wine will be fine thanks.'

Men seemed to fawn over her all night, it was the type of attention she tried to avoid, it made her feel uncomfortable, it made her feel as though she were an outsider, trapped in another woman's body. She hardly paid attention to what half the men were saying to her, she had to give Mark credit for his effort in trying to claim her as one of the woman that he was probably used to having on his arm as a prop, but she wasn't interested in any of that, she told him from the beginning as well. That was a woman she only ever was when she held the wedding band on her left finger, she no longer wore that ring and no longer held that responsibility.

Throughout the night, she found herself either talking to a range of different men, or holding her chin in her hand as she toyed with the food on her plate. Her gaze followed to her empty glass of wine, the candle that was burning radiated it, from a distance, she could see herself through it, it's mirror exposing her porcelain doll face. Picking the glass up, she gazed, strangely at the woman that was mirroring her reflection, before she even knew what she was doing, before she could allow her mind and body to clash, before she could comprehend her actions, she smashed the glass against the vase of flowers that sat before her.

She felt as though her mind had lost all senses, she really was going crazy, and as she looked up, she couldn't deny the few faces of people she knew, staring strangely at her from a far, all including Will's. She sat still, allowed her gaze to return back to her food, and her mind suddenly zoned out. As if she were a foreigner to her body, as if her mind no longer functioned, she suddenly considered the possibility of depression. She wasn't herself nowadays, she wasn't the woman who enjoyed the law, she wasn't the same woman who relished a court battle, she wasn't the same woman who felt as though the world was at her feet and she could do whatever she liked.

"Care to dance?" She looked up to see Peter standing before her, he wore an expression of concern as well, but also amusement, she nodded as a response and allowed him to move her out to the dance floor, away from the crowd.

"Was Grace okay tonight?" She asked as they began to sway in slow circles, their daughter had decided to stay at her fathers that night, away from the crowd of reporters outside the apartment.

He nodded, "Yes, she's fine. She invited Shannon over for the night and ordered pizza. Mom is staying the night as well."

"Our daughter is doing okay for a teenage girl whose name has been subjected to scrutiny in the last month right?" she grinned.

"Yes." He paused, gazing down at her, he smiled. "You did a good job you know."

A wave of confusion reached her, pulling her brows together questionably, he continued. "With our kids. I never could have asked for a better woman to raise them." She felt tears brim in her eyes at his words, she smiled faintly.

"Thank you Peter. That means a lot to me." She paused, allowed her gaze to rest behind his shoulder and sighed. "They're all I have." She whispered.

"That's not true. I've heard from the vine that you recently signed the top movie production company in America as one of your clients?" he grinned, throwing in some humour.

She shrugged, "It's just another client, it doesn't matter to me."

He gazed down at her in complete puzzlement. "But this is what you've wanted ever since law school? You're one of the most successful woman in Chicago Alicia."

She knew he was probably exaggerating that statement, she knew he was most likely comparing it against bias, but it still warmed her to know that he thought she was doing a good job. She sighed, "I don't even know what I'm doing with my life anymore." She shrugged, "Right now. Zach and Grace are the only faces that drive me to get out of bed in the morning. Once Grace leaves for college next year, I don't know what I'm gonna do." Her face sagged into misery, and her eyes welled up with tears.

"What did he do to you Alicia?"

She shook her head, "He didn't do anything. It was just a turning point. I needed something to drive me into the direction of reality and that's what he gave me, a dose of reality." She didn't need to explain who she was talking about, she knew perfectly well that he was aware of it, and she tried to ignore the way his body tensed. They may not be together, nor married anymore, but they still spent twenty years of their life in sync, they still had children of which regardless, would always generate a connection, he was still the same man she spent years living with. Regardless of their strong differences towards each other, he had a right to care about her.

He inhaled deeply, before sighing. "Well. I'm sure he's gotten what he deserved. If listening to that voicemail struck me, I can't even begin to imagine what he's feeling."

Even under the circumstance, she smiled faintly at his arrogancy and honesty, his pride and egotism was hefty she guessed, but the meaning behind his words still resonated through her.

"Peter. Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure."

"And do me the honor of telling me the truth. Please."

"Alicia. What's this about?"

"Did you marry me only because I was pregnant?" The wave of confusion that struck suggested he wasnt expecting it.

"I married you because _I _wanted to, because I was in love with you and I knew that I'd be an idiot if I didn't." she couldn't deny the anger that resonated through his features. "What's this all about Alicia?"

She shrugged. She wasn't sure herself on what caused the question, maybe it was her lack of insecurity to it all, maybe it had to do with the fact that she felt as though twenty years of her life had been wasted, or maybe it was her own sensitivities; maybe it was under the desire to learn why men were attracted to her, why men that she assumed she could trust, always seemed to crush her. Or maybe it was a result of the comment her mother made a few days ago. _You weren't ready to get married, you were still too young._

She sighed, "I'm tired. I should probably head out soon. I'll pick up Grace tomorrow afternoon before we leave for my mothers place."

"ok, Do you need anything?"

"No thanks. I'll see you." She pressed her lips against his cheek, before descending back to her table, she watched as Cary moved to face her. "Leaving already?"

"Yea, I have a bit of a migraine. I'll see you Monday."

She heard him call out her name and paused before turning to face him, she watched as her closest friend stood up from his seat and moved towards her. "Are you okay?" he whispered softly. "We saw you drop that glass earlier on."

She raised a brow, "We?"

He nodded, "Yes, I was sitting at Will and Diane's table."

Recognition surfaced through her features as she widened her eyes, "What were you doing sitting with them?"

He seemed momentarily stunned at her words, before shrugging. "I was with Kalinda."

"Kalinda?" she stated surprised, "I didn't know you two were still friends?"

His face went from surprise to shock in a matter of seconds. "Alicia. We've been dating for three weeks. You were the first person I told?"

She gaped in shock, "I was?"

"Yes."

He stared at her as if she really had lost it, shaking her head, she sighed. "God. I'm sorry Cary. I must have forgotten, things have been…. chaotic."

"We're worried about you Alicia." He whispered,

"Here we go with the 'we' thing again." She smiled, "Are you referring to everyone at work or Kalinda?"

"I'm referring to the people who care about you!" She guessed by the way he sighed that it wasn't his intention to sound harsh, or punitive, but she knew that his concerns ran deep, and he was only trying to help.

He continued, "Will..Diane.. Everyone, we're worried about you. You don't seem yourself nowadays."

She laughed, but it wasn't narcissistic or mocking, it was gentle, and full of surprise. "The last time I checked Cary, Will and Diane weren't exactly our - friends."

He sighed, glancing down, he ran a hand through his hair. "Yes, that's true. But a lot has changed. You've been away from the office and lately, we've been working together on a lot of cases."

"Look Cary, I don't want to waste time talking about them. They play much a part in my life than what the cat does down the road. I know you're concerned about me, but I'm fine. I just have a lot on my plate right now and I just need a weekend out at my mother's to clear my head. I will be good as new come Monday morning." She smiled reassuringly, though she already knew it was hopeless.

Sighing, he nodded as a response and squeezed her forearm in support. "Call me if you need anything."

She smiled in gratitude, before leading herself out of the large room, surveyed by everyone as they watched her descend. She passed Mark on her way to the exit, he sat against the bar, whiskey glass in his hand as he played on his phone. She felt guilty for overlooking him all night, he had gone out of his way to make her feel comfortable and she had fell bored in the first 45 minutes whilst men constantly surrounded her.

She paused at a halt on her way out the door and sighed, turning around, she feigned her best smile. "Mr Jonas." She stated enthusiastically. "Excuse my ignorance, but I couldn't help but notice your lack of enthusiasm towards this event lately."

He turned to the sound of her voice and laughed, "Your ignorance has been excused Ms Cavanaugh."

Grinning, she tilted her head to the side, "I was just heading across the road towards the bar for a quiet drink, would you like to join me?"

He smiled, and nodded, "That's a great idea, I'd love to."

An hour later, she found herself completely intoxicated as they sat in the corner of the bar, hidden away from the lights and laughing at the oddest things. She brushed up against his shoulders, and when he made eye contact with her, before leaning in and approaching his lips to hers, she placed a finger above his mouth and laughed. "First base huh?" she laughed.

He laughed, sipping his drink, he turned back to face her and stared at her in wonder, the alcohol in his system was sure to be playing a part in in his current demeanour. "I find you intriguing Alicia." He smiled.

Raising a brow, she giggled, "Really?"

He nodded, "Uh huh. I'm sure the rest of Cook County does as well. I like how you've shielded your children since the scandal."

She grinned and stared up at him through her lashes. "Tell me Mark, why do you find me attractive?"

He bursted into laughter, taking her by surprise. "What makes you think I find you attractive?"

She tilted her head to the side in that knowing smirk, she gestured with her fingers. "One; you've been eyeing my gown all night. And two; you just tried to kiss me."

He was a deer caught in the headlights. "You have a good point there."

"Well?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Because." She shrugged, "I want to know what people see."

Smiling, he leant over and whispered, "Just look in the mirror sweetheart."

Pulling back, she laughed before gulping down the rest of her drink. As Mark murmured his departure to the men's room, she nodded and ran her hands along her aching head, the alcohol most likely taking its toll to her senses.

She heard a voice coming from the front door but ignored it, until she heard it again. "Alicia."

Turning to face the noise, she saw Will walking towards her, shaking her head, she sighed. "Will. Go away." She mumbled.

"We're talking. I've given you time, I've accepted your need for space but we need to talk about this because…."

She figured by his faint pause and the way his eyes roamed over her appearance, that he had been taken off guard. He could smell the alcohol on her lips from a mile away. "Are you drunk?" he gaped in shock.

"What's it matter to you?"

"I'm taking you home." She pushed him away as he grasped her forearm.

"I'm not going anywhere with you! I'm with someone.." she stuttered on her words, and almost knocked Mark's class off the counter.

"Will?" she heard the familiar voice speak, as she followed Will's gaze, it met Mark's clearly surprised features as he walked towards them.

"hey man," Will replied, extending a hand out to him.

Alicia felt her jaw drop, "Wait…. You two know each other?"

Mark nodded, "Yeah, we worked together several years ago."

"I was just telling Alicia that I'm taking her home, I think she's had enough to drink."

Mark laughed, "I think I would tend to agree with you on that one."

This time, her jaw went rigid and she threw both him and Will a glare that could easily have sent flames across the moon. "I am perfectly capable of looking after myself thank you very much Will!"

"Hmm." He hummed unconvinced, she watched as both men stared at each other as if questioning what to do with her, which one was going to strap her by the arms and carry her out, and that's when she felt her insides turn and her stomach suddenly beginning to leap out of her throat. Bolting straight for the lady's room, she rushed into the toilet and sunk to her knees as she vomited the remains of the previous shots of tequila and whiskey.

She sighed once done, wiped her hand along her mouth and settled herself against the cold tiled floor, her lashes fluttered tiredly and she began to drift off. The next motion she felt was the familiar warmth of Will's arms, he held her as if she were a doll, she knew she should probably stop him before anything else were to happen, she was aware that she should tell him off and walk the short distance towards her apartment building, but she was just too tired, so instead, she nestled her face into the curve of his shoulder and allowed him to carry her home.

She felt him gently settle her onto the bed, followed by his warm hands sliding over her ankles and removing her heels. He moved towards the closet to grasp a blanket before covering her with it, and disappeared off into the kitchen. Even though her eyes were closed, she could sense his presence return followed by his body sitting against the edge of the bed.

"Alicia" he whispered softly, she mumbled some coherent word as a response and fluttered her eyes open to see him holding a bottle of water and two pills of aspirin. "Take these." He helped her sit up as she consumed at least half the bottle and swallowed the small dose of a cure to her aching head. Settling back down, she laid on her stomach and dug her face into her pillow.

If she had allowed herself to stay awake, she would have noticed the way the moonlight shone on Will's face as he gazed down at her, she would have known that he sat there for a good hour watching her as she slept, she would have felt his finger trace her arm before moving to her bear back and admiring the length of her dress, admiring the way her chest puffed up and down, admiring everything about her. If she had allowed her mind to stay active, then she would have been privy to the knowledge that Will's intention was to move to the living room, sleep on the sofa for a few hours and wait for her to wake.

But instead, she wasn't aware of any of that, and so as she woke the next morning to the sun's rays shining through the window, she groaned loudly in pain and glanced down at her attire, her dress was creased, and her bones were aching in pain. She stood up, barely stable and slipped out of her gown, discarding it on the floor somewhere, she tied herself into one of her bathrobes and made her way towards the bathroom. She splashed her face with water until she appeared fresh followed by tying her hair into a messy bun that settled above her head, bits of hair framing her face.

Taking the bottle of water from the nightstand, she descended outside of her bedroom, when she saw a figure sitting in the dark of her kitchen she gasped loudly, grasped onto the wall for support and allowed the bottle of water to fall to the ground.

She exhaled with a loud sigh as the figure turned to face her and she realised it was Will. Placing a hand over her heart, she tried to regain her breathing, "Jesus Will! You nearly gave me a heart attack, what are you doing here?"

"Sorry. I - I stayed here last night after I carried you home."

It all began to resurface like a ton of bricks mixed with a large tornado, the memory of Mark, the lady's room in the bar and the smell of Will's cologne as she dug her face into his shoulder when he held her tightly in his arms.

Sighing, she covered her face with the palm of her hand and shook her head in embarrassment. She didn't know how to respond, 'thank you' would probably be a moderate merit of gratitude. Or maybe she could just chose to run back to her bedroom, lock the door and bury herself under the covers of humiliation for the rest of her life.

"Thanks." She said awkwardly, making her way towards the counter, she began to pour herself a glass of water.

"We need to talk."

It was inevitable that he would go there, most likely the reason why he had stayed in the first place. Closing her eyes, she savoured the taste of fresh liquid plunging down her throat.

Allowing her eyes to open fully, she nearly got a fright at the sight of Will, standing right across from her with his hands propped against the counter. She sighed, there was no avoiding it any more than she had previously done, there was no denying it, there was no need to dwell on it, it was happening whether she agreed on it or not.

She sighed, "Okay."

She allowed him to speak, every word, every sentence wasn't enough to surprise her, wasn't enough to bolt into his arms and forget everything, but she knew that he was sincere, she knew that he was aware of the damage that he had caused and he was willing to do _anything _in order to fix things. She still didn't understand how he could justify his decision though, she still did not understand how he could possibly explain his decision of sleeping with her to steal back one of his clients, she still could not comprehend how he could make love to her for an advantage and then take off to New York for a month without any sort of explanation.

That was what hurt the most.

About halfway through his speech, he must have noticed that none of it fazed her. Deciding that actions speak louder than words, he moved around the island in order to touch her, and as she noticed his intention, she backed away and moved herself across from him once again, he stared at her in shock. He must have known that her hate towards him ran deep, but learning that she couldn't even allow him to touch her, struck him in more ways than one.

He sighed, and changed his focus, she wasn't expecting It, but as he started to open up to her, she realized that he was going all in, he was taking it seriously.

"All those years ago, when I said that I enjoyed being around you, I meant it. I didn't know what I was doing with my life before you Alicia, I knew that what we wanted from each other was different, you had kids, you were married, but that didn't limit my feelings for you…"

"Will" she sighed, "What does this have to do with anything?"

"You changed me. When you came to Lockhart Gardner, It was…. Things changed for me. I wanted to be a better man, and when you left, I was…. Hurt, and I know that doesn't justify what I did. But I was mad at you Alicia, and, when you walked into that bar that night, things turned. I don't know what was running through my mind at the time, and when I saw the papers in your briefcase I bolted. If - If I could take it back, I would. You know I would."

So it wasn't intentional, his need to take the papers wasn't a part of some grand plan. That had to be a step in the right direction right?

"You didn't even talk to me…" she began, avoiding his eyes. "Afterwards, you just… you took off, and you didn't even tell me where you were going."

He sighed, "I needed to get away. I thought by leaving that it would give you enough time to get used to things. That you wouldn't have to see my face anymore. I left for New York because the guilt was eating me up, and knowing that I had… done what I did. I couldn't live with myself. You have to understand, I wanted to just bury myself and never come out."

"Why did you come back?" she whispered, her sudden turn took him by surprise.

"What?"

"You were only gone for a month. Why didn't you stay?"

The silence that surfaced was daunting, she carefully observed his face from a distance. Every line, every wrinkle, every scar from when he was a child right up to his adulthood. His clearly messy bed head and tired eyes. He was beautiful and she could not deny it.

He sighed. "I heard about Grace."

The astonishment in her features was enough to bring the sun right up, the revelation had taken her completely off guard. No, he had never met her children – not formally anyway- and even under the six years that he had been in her life, introducing Zach and Grace to her… well, lover –at the time- was not something that she was ready to live up to. She had an idea that it was something _he_ wanted, but it wasn't going to happen, not unless there was a reason behind it, and they were never in a real relationship so introducing Will into that part of her life was short lived.

"I saw you on TV, you were holding your daughters hand and shielding her from the press. I wanted to see how you were doing, I _needed _to. And then when I did see you, I couldn't find the courage to speak, so I told myself that I was going to stay in Chicago whether you liked it or not."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better. I didn't want you to come back. I hated you. I still hate you."

"No. it doesn't make me feel any better, in fact, it makes me feel even worse." He said it almost mockingly.

She sighed, "Why are you here Will?"

He looked up at her, moving around, he took no charge in pressuring her, so she remained huddled in the corner of the counter, and when he gently approached her, she stilled, folded her arms and glanced down to the ground, avoiding his intense gaze. He was hesitant at first, but he pushed a messy strand of hair away from her face before moving closer so that he stood right before her.

"I'm here because I want a second chance. I'm here because…. In order to sleep at night, or listen to that voicemail with a bit more ease, I need to know that you forgive me."

"And what if I can't?"

"You can."

"That voicemail.." she began, "It wasn't meant to – The press – I didn't want you to listen to that, I - It wasn't something that was supposed to get out."

"I know." he whispered, "When you said that you were in pain, and you felt like the world was caving in on you, was that because of me.. or the media?" he asked hesitantly.

"It was a range of things…. That voicemail was.. it was a build-up, and it was therapeutic, but it was only ever meant for my mother's ears."

She felt his finger rest on her chin, raising it up, she met his eyes that were full of sorrow, longing, and guilt. "Do love me?" he whispered.

She frowned at his question, and pulled her brows together almost as if she were questioning his mentality. They had never shared such strong words of intimacy to each other, nor had they ever stood this close to one another. She was reluctant to answer his question, she didn't want him to know, and she did not want him to see her so vulnerable.

"Does it matter?" Almost on impulse, he nodded his head certain.

"Yes, it matters."

As she gazed into his chocolate brown eyes there wasn't a moment where she hadn't doubted her own care towards him, she did love him, but that didn't mean she was ready to run off into the sunset with him, it was far from it in fact.

"Yes." She swallowed tensely. She watched with curiosity as he breathed a sigh of relief, color seemed to rise through his features, and he looked as though he was able to breathe again.

"But that doesn't mean what you think it means."

"And what is that?"

"I need time Will.." she said hesitantly. "I can't just accept this, and ride off into the sunset with you, it doesn't work that way. I need time to clear my head, and work things out, I have Grace, and she's going through a really tough time at the moment, she needs me more than anything, if I could forgive you in a matter of seconds, I would but life doesn't work that way."

"I understand." He nodded, he seemed hesitant, uncertain and shifted on his feet, but he managed to continue. "I can't wait forever though Alicia."

"I know, you won't have to."


	5. Chapter 5

**How about that episode last night? - All i can say is that Alicia is badass. Anyway, This ones for Andrea, who begged more of the horse and ranch. It jumps four months after the gala.**

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><p>Four months later.<p>

The sound of thunder woke her from her own deep preservation, she sat up squinting and gathered her surroundings. She had gotten used to this place in the last few months, her mother kept her private room clean and tidy, redecorated it so that Alicia could feel at home. Alicia had become accustomed to this place more often than what she anticipated. She couldn't spend a week in Chicago without craving to travel back to Indiana and spend a little time on the ranch. It was strange but she felt incomplete without it.

Rubbing her eyes awake, she slid off the bed and moved towards the window. It was still dark outside, the sun barely visible and the time displayed on the grandfather clock was 4.30. She could see the stables from a far, the men that worked on the ranch were most likely still asleep, and she craved to reach the barn from a far.

Opening her large closet, her hands ran along her clothes, jeans, trousers, packed into new sets that Veronica had set out. Since her arrival to the ranch, and her attachment to riding horses, her attachment to the black beauty, she had brought new sets of jeans.

Slipping into a pair a dark ones, she slithered into her dark grey knee high boots and shrugged into a Kathmandu jacket, tying the hoodie above her head, she slipped out of the house without making a noise and ran in between puddles of rain water towards the stables.

Once inside, she passed all the other horses and walked straight for Sapphires one, the horse was wide awake and standing, eating it's food. As she heard Alicia approach, her head popped up to which Alicia smiled as she ran a hand along its side.

"Hey beautiful" she murmured.

The horse brushed up against her and puffed through its nose. She coated it's fur, brushed her for countless minutes and finally settled her own sattle on top of it's back. She knew it wasn't the most ideal, not in this whether anyway, but it didn't bother her, nor did it bother anyone else, she had learnt over the last few months how to control it, and how to ride a large and bulky horse such as this one.

She couldn't deny the fact that most of the ranch men on base were jealous, they weren't allowed to even touch Sapphire, and when they did, she had never taken to them well except for Alicia and Bill of course. She was proud to say that she owned something so amazingly powerful, no matter how ironic that statement felt as she did hold one of the most successful law firms in Chicago, one in which had been neglected from her presence for the last week. She had an idea that Cary wasn't all too happy with her ignorance towards it either, not that she had ever been privy to palpable his opinions.

"How about we go outside for a ride huh?" She asked the horse, Grace had commented weeks ago that she thought it was odd she talked to the horse as if it were a real person, she had smiled at the naiveté of her daughter and told her that it was sometimes okay to act on instinct.

Tugging her by the leash, she pulled herself up onto the sattle and settled herself onto the Sapphire's large frame before drilling her to ride off. She came across a couple of men through her journey up onto the hill, who both saluted a nod to her. They knew to leave her alone, they knew not to speak ill of her, at least not when Bill was in the room. Her family had developed a close relationship to him tremendously, he treated her and Owen as if they were his own kids, and though Owen and herself were independent adults, having this type of lifestyle to escape to was always comforting, especially for Alicia.

Admitting that she had an attraction to this place would be considered an understatement, she enjoyed the law, she enjoyed the life before it, and she appreciated Chicago and everything she had, but that was before, that was a lifestyle that she had always assumed would be her safe haven, would be the place she would grow old in, she was starting to consider otherwise.

As Sapphire galloped like the wind through the strong rain, she began to think of how dramatic her life had turned, less than a decade ago, she was married to the man, she naively assumed was the one, less than six years ago, she was selling her home and life in order to place a roof over her children's head's. A year and a half ago she had furnished her own firm, and now, she was willing to sell it all in replacement of working on a ranch.

She was crazy.

She thought about Will, and how he had no knowledge whatsoever of her whereabouts, that her weekends were spent on a ranch with people that weren't associated with the life she and Will lived back in Chicago, and that she wasn't ready to open up to him just yet. He had agreed on her terms that he would wait, she had promised him that one day she would come around and give them the chance they both needed, a chance that he _deserved_, but before any of that could develop, before she could allow herself to grasp his hand and ride off into the sunset, she had to discover who she was first, she needed to determine what she wanted instead of what everyone else expected of her.

They stopped at shelter, a small rooftop above a hill that faced off into the view of the river from above, she had discovered it a few weeks ago whilst riding out early in the morning, the sunrise triggered her attention, and ever since, she had been out here, sitting under the shelter and observing the view as the day set in place.

She jumped off, tied her horse under the roof top next to the tree and sat against it, gazing out towards the view of hills, overshadowing the city that was miles away. When there was ever a moment she doubted herself, or her decision, she would come out here and just sit and take in the view. Grace had said one afternoon that this was why god created the world, and that she didn't understand how witnessing a view like this didn't influence her judgement towards religion. Alicia's only response was simple, logical and open; witnessing landscape wasn't going to better her judgement on religion or limit her atheism. Even though it was a challenge, she enjoyed having such deep provoking conversations with her daughter, it made her feel as though she weren't a fish out of water trying to survive against reality.

She wrapped her arms around her legs as she hugged her chest and buried her chin on her knees as she gazed out towards the hills, the sound of someone approaching grasped her attention, and once she turned to the noise, she smiled at her visitor. Michael's wife, June lived just over the hill, they had been married for over fifteen years now, and Alicia couldn't fathom how June could handle such a stubborn credulous man such as him, they had grown close in the last month, but she couldn't deny that each time he spoke, her eyes glazed over in mockery.

June tied her horse next to Sapphire, and approached Alicia. "What are you doing up so early?" Alicia asked,

"I could say the same to you, Michael hasn't got you working overnight has he?" her southern voice echoed Alicia's ear as she sat next to her.

Alicia smiled, "No. I think your husband knows better than to order me in working on those farms. I couldn't touch a spade even if I wanted to."

"Well, you've done more for this ranch then anyone could imagine. Bill says you managed to handle all the accounting details?"

Alicia shrugged, "I just made a few calls and looked over the financial troubles. It's no big deal."

"Your mother says you own one of the top firms in Chicago?"

Alicia rolled her eyes good heartedly, "I think she's over-exaggerating it abit, but yes, though it didn't start out that way."

"Hard work always pays off in the end."

"Tell me about it." She thought of all the arguments she and Cary had endured over the debt the firm was running into, she thought of all the long, and hard nights she spent in the office, and then on instinct, she thought of how they had achieved their success in the first place, having the Governor on your side was sure to help, but without the clients they had stolen off Lockhart Gardner in the first place, they wouldn't have reached it, they wouldn't be the firm they were nowadays, and she and Will wouldn't be in such a mess. Again, she was reminded of their past. Will It ever disappear?

She sighed, and glanced down, she wasn't entirely sure of herself nowadays, her spirits had definitely been lifted up since staying out here, having Sapphire as her own, but she still felt like something was missing, since divorcing, and allowing her children to grow out of the toddler age she knew them to be, a strong part of herself had departed, and she found herself struggling to come to terms with who she was, what she wanted to be. She had vowed years ago that she would avoid, at all cost to be a shadow in her mother's personality, Veronica had divorced, Veronica had left her average lifestyle to escape reality, Veronica done stupid things as well that she most likely lamented no more than five seconds, whereas Alicia's guilt piled one after the other.

It was times like this she craved for her father's advice, her father's words of encouragement and love, and more importantly the warmth of his arms and how she felt as though everything was going to be alright. She wondered if she would ever feel that way again.

June stared over at her, curios, she asked. "Why are you so quiet?"

"Sorry?"

"You don't seem to be the happy, giggly woman the press seem to paint you out as. I'm sorry, I know it's none of my business, but I've recently learnt who you are. I wouldn't have known it if your mother hadn't mentioned anything. But I guess I would have to be blind in order to see that something is bothering you."

She smiled at the younger woman's words, inwardly cursing her mother's loose tongue and need to clarify everything to everyone. She shrugged, "It's…. My life is very complicated. You probably know that."

"Our lives are all complicated, the point is that we see through it all and… make it work."

Alicia sighed, "It isn't entirely that easy for me."

"Tell me."

"Like I said - It's complicated..."

"I think I can keep up."

Alicia sighed, shaking her head in defeat, she stared out towards the scenery and finally allowed herself to voice her emotions. "I've hurt people… I've.. done some things that I'm not proud of. And I thought that owning my own business would help me better myself, it would make me feel in control; and it did. For a time, but now, I see it as just an excuse to move on in life. I don't want to die with nothing less than a Wikipedia entry and a law firm."

June laughed, "Alicia, you've still got a while to go. And you _have _kids, most people don't. Your children may be grown, but they'll still need you, and regardless, they will always love you, I've seen it, witnessed the way you are with them. They're lucky, and I underestimated you. I always assumed you were stuck up, self-centred, and preferred to keep to yourself. It was until I saw that damn horse behave around you."

Alicia stared at her curiously, "What do you mean?"

"She's stubborn, she always has been, and she never reacted well in front of strangers, but then you came along. I think she see's something in you."

"See's something in me." She laughed, "You mean the reality that I can't control a horse to save myself?"

June bursted into laughter, "Okay, I can agree with you on that one. You've gotten the hang of it though."

She shook her head, certain. "No. I still feel like I'm a foreigner here."

"And yet, you're still here. There must be something pulling you away from home."

"Reality."

"Using your escape mechanism?"

Alicia laughed, "You could call it that. I've never felt so unsure of myself these days. I've never felt so - lost."

"When I was younger… I left home to travel the world, It had always been a dream of mine to visit other places, I begged Michael to come with me but…. his life was here, and he was too stubborn for his own good. I came back two years later, once I found out he was engaged to someone else, I wanted to run off, I was reluctant to allow myself to see him again, I was _so_ close to moving back to France, I had booked my ticket and everything, but once we were in the same room together.." she shrugged, "It all became clear."

"So you two got back together?"

June shook her head in defeat. "Yes. But – It was so much more than that, you see – Michael was engaged to…. to Bill's daughter." She whispered,

The admission had taken Alicia totally off guard, she had prior knowledge that Bill had children, kids that lived far away, but she was not aware of the recent admission coming from Junes mouth, especially under the knowing that not once had she ever witnessed tension between Bill nor Michael, not once was she under the wisdom that both men had history.

Alicia shook her head, baffled, "I.. I don't understand. Michael was engaged to Bill's"-

"Bill's daughter, yes." She confirmed. "I know, it's complicated."

"So what did you do?"

"Well," she sighed, before shrugging. "Once I found out who it was. I ran away."

"You ran away?"

"Yes, ironically, to Chicago actually. I was afraid of stirring up a mess, so I avoided him, told him that whatever we had – was nothing more than the mere Idea of the tension and emotion building over the years."

"So, what did you do?"

"After a few months, I snapped back into reality, and called him; the relief through his tone of voice was unavoidable, and that's when he told me that he and Trish called off the wedding and, it all kind of unfolded there."

Her gaze returned towards the hills, she couldn't deny that the last few months had been a journey for herself, and there were times, she had to admit where she would occasionally miss the law, or the thrill of home. The ranch was an approach of escaping, she's realised that now, it was a concept in which redefined her life and decisions, and even though she was still concluding her identity, there was an idea that sooner or later she would have to face reality, and elevate her choices, and ultimately face Will, and Cary, and Peter including the press.

After another hour of waiting around for the rain to calm down, and the sun to set, they made their way back to the ranch, and once Alicia had Sapphire back in the stables, she made sure to groom her before returning to the house. As she reached the porch, she passed Bill who emerged from the house, ready and bright for the day. "Morning sweetheart, how did you sleep?" He kissed her cheek.

She smile, "Great." –she lied.

"Good, your mothers awake, I think she needs help with breakfast." She rolled her eyes half-heartedly and made her way towards the kitchen, removing her coat, she had to stifle a laugh as she witnessed Veronica's expression once seeing her.

"Jesus, look at you! You're soaked!"

"I thought religion doesn't favour you mom?"

As Veronica recognized the meaning behind her words, she rolled her eyes causing a grin to Alicia's features. The phone rang, echoing the front half of the house. "I'll get it." Veronica announced, once she left the large kitchen, Alicia sat on one of the stools at the counter and began to pick at a few pieces of bacon.

"It's Gary." Veronica announced as she handed her the phone.

Alicia pulled her brows together in confusion. "Who?"

"Gary, that guy you work with."

Grasping the phone, she tucked it under her shoulder as she made eye contact with her mother. "Hello?"

"Alicia."

"Cary?"

"Yes. How… how are you?" he sounded nervous, moving off the bench, she moved towards the large window that faced off onto the porch.

"Good. What's up?"

"When are you coming back home?"

She was aware that it was his intention she travel back to Chicago, she was free to do whatever she liked in the weekends, but he did have every right to be fuming, she had left two weeks ago and failed to return.

She sighed, "I don't know. Soon. Why?"

"Well, we have the fundraiser this Tuesday night that we were invited to."

"Another Gala?" she gaped,

"It's not a gala, it's a dinner. All law firms are going Alicia, and you've been off the radar for the last two weeks. We need you here."

She sighed, "Okay, I'll drive back tonight. What's going on over there?"

"Nothing too dramatic, though we need to discuss something important once you get here."

"And what's that?"

She heard him sigh through the phone, then visioned him shaking his head. "We'll talk about it in the morning."

"No, Cary, tell me. Whatever it is, I'm sure I can take it."

"Well," he sighed, "As you know, things have been turning lately, more and more firms are going bankrupt, and if we don't do something, we may be next. I know you still have your differences, but the temperature has changed Alicia, _everything _has changed. Diane was the one who brought the idea abroad, but we're just waiting for you to come back so we can discuss it face to face."

She shook her head baffled, "Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting Cary?"

He sighed through the other line, defeated. "I know it's a lot to take on Alicia, but you just disappeared for two weeks. You didn't tell me where you were going, you haven't told me where you are other than you're safe. When you are here, you seem to be in another world. And you appear to look as though you'd do anything to avoid Lockhart Gardner as much as possible. I understand that you and Will have… your differences, but this is pure business, and you can't deny that it is a good idea."

"Merging firms with Lockhart Gardner is _not _a good idea Cary!" she raised her voice, "I can't believe you're actually considering this. What on earth makes you think they would even stay loyal? They could pull the rug out from under us at anytime!"

She heard him sigh once again, she was well aware that he was refraining from raising his voice in addition, and that he was intent on remaining calm. "They're not what you think they are Alicia. Like I said, things have changed, the temperature has dropped. It's business, this is _good _business. Imagine how high the advantages would be Alicia, we would be the highest law firm in Chicago, the highest!"

From the corner of her eye, she could see that Michael as well as Bill had sat at the kitchen table, she was aware that they were all most likely listening but couldn't find the time to care. "The highest" she laughed, "Cary. I know you live in fantasy land, and that your head is filled with ideas of holding the tightest firm, but consider what you're saying for a minute. Will and Diane _fired _us once they found out we were planning on starting this firm. They had security escort us out! We may hold one of the best law firms in Chicago, but that's one out of how many? And you are willing to throw that all out on a whim?"

"This isn't a whim Alicia! This is real, you may have your differences with Lockhart Gardner, but if you aren't willing to commit to our business, and the choices that we have to make in order to better ourselves, then I don't know what's going on with you!"

Before she could reply, he hung up. Pulling the phone away from her ear, she stared at it in shock before slamming it against the table and marching out of the room under the observation of her mother who shook her head and rolled her eyes in response.

"Where are you going?"

"To pack my bags."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N; Dress is the same from the picture off the title icon.**

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><p>She made her way into the large room of the Chicago center ball mansion, it was smaller than the last one, but from every view she was subjected to in the last five minutes, she could see that every political watch dog was in the area. Her dress was black, long sleeved, and skimmed over her body perfectly and ended just above her knees, it wasn't a gown, it wasn't too extravagant compared to her last one –considering this was just a dinner- but again, it was revealing. There was a zip line designed on it that began at her hip and spiled all the way up towards her shoulder, except the zip was designed to be left undone revealing her entire bare back, her hair was tied into a lose bun with silky brunet curls hanging.<p>

She was a proud, confident and successful woman, she prided herself on having the ability to charm a man, and the confidence to do it with ease, but entertaining a man tonight was far from her mind at the moment, she was still undeniably angry at Cary, and her anger doubled over Will. She had barely spoken to him since four months ago, and yet here he was again pulling another one of his stunts, he had already stolen one of her top clients less than six months ago, and now he was planning on merging into her business without her permission.

From a distance, she could see him, in his own handsome tuxedo and spiky hair, exchanging conversation with a short man from a far, as she neared the area, she could see that it was Lois Canning. The irony in the situation was almost hilarious. She knew she wouldn't be able to stay mad at him for too long, and that he was still attached to her heart like glue, but her stubbornness outweighed everything.

As he turned, she watched as his face switch into shock when he made eye contact with her, followed by a wave of relief. Will began to approach her, and she distracted herself with grasping a glass of wine off the waiter. When she turned, she jolted in surprise as she found herself standing before him.

"Hey" he smiled, undeniably charming of course.

She swallowed, tensely. "Hey."

Time seemed to pause, as if it were just the two of them living and breathing in the world, their eyes moved together in synch.

He seemed hesitant to continue, but inhaled deeply and shifted on his feet. "Listen, I was hoping we could talk about a few things, all including the merger idea."

And suddenly she felt her blood thicken, he was going to try and persuade her, of course he was. He must have sensed her discomfort though, because he shifted closer and placed a hand on her forearm, she thought of pulling away, but then she sensed the warmth in the palm of his hand and suddenly couldn't move.

"Before you say anything, it wasn't my idea, it was all Cary and Diane. He told us that you weren't happy with it when he told you, and I understand, but we should at least talk about it, as a team."

_As a team. _She found that statement unquestionably ironic, when exactly was the last time they were a team? Two years ago maybe? Possibly when she was still working at Lockhart Gardner, except even then, they were hardly considered such a thing.

"I agree," she replied, shifted on her heels. "But, I think we have more important things to discuss."

"Like what?"

There were many things, all having to do with a great explanation to her whereabouts in the last few weeks, her need for time, and everything to do with them.

_Us._

As she gazed into his chocolate brown eyes, which noticeably turned soft as he stared down at her, there wasn't a moment where she doubted herself, she loved him, of course she did, but there were so many scenarios that were weighing them down, and sometimes, one needed a little bit more than _love _to get them through a relationship.

Before she could continue, the sound of a woman's voice interrupted them, and that's when she noticed Will tense.

"Will, I was looking for you, have you seen the flower decorations? They're amazing." A blonde, and visibly young woman locked her arm with his.

Will shifted awkwardly, "Uh, yea, Isabell, I'm a bit busy at the moment."

The blonde's eyes finally landed on Alicia, and she smiled. "Oh. I'm sorry, I thought you were alone." She grinned, the short silence that surfaced was excruciating, and Alicia felt her blood boil as Will made eye contact with Alicia and failed to move.

She felt her heart drop as it all suddenly clicked into place, he wasn't interested in getting her back, even though she was, he only desired her forgiveness, he only wanted to know that he was sorry for what he had done, typical.

She wanted to laugh, she really should have seen it coming, it was something that was expected, and maybe she shouldn't exactly be shocked, or taken a back but she was. They never really could begin a relationship could they? Not with the unfortunate spell fate had seemed to give them.

_Bad timing. _

She chuckled to herself.

Isabell nudged his shoulder after four seconds passed, "Well? Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?"

Alicia's body stood straight, feigning her excellent act and extravagant poker face, she smiled and stretched a hand out. "I'm Alicia." Before tucking her hand under her other, and using her free hand to bring the glass of wine up to her lips.

"Oh my god, yes! You're the woman on tv!"

Alicia feigned a false chuckle, "Yep. That's me."

"I _love _the way you dress. And your daughter has really nice hair!"

Alicia caught Will tense at her last sentence. She took it as a cue to move on, and smiled towards the younger woman. "Well, it's been a pleasure, but I really should get going."

"Oh yes, of course, It was really nice meeting you."

She refrained from responding as she turned and walked out, she wondered if she had given them an opportunity to witness the back of her dress, but quickly pushed it to the back of her mind as she realised that she needed to reach the restroom before the need of a panic attack was to arrive.

She braced her hands over the basement and stared at herself through the mirror. This was not the woman she was accustomed too, breathing heavily in an unknown bathroom over a man. Clearly, he wasn't as patient as she had expected.

She gathered herself, assessed her face through the mirror, each detail, before emerging from the bathroom and making her way into the ball room. From a distance she could see that Florrick Agos was –ironically- seated next to Lockhart Gardner and another law firm. Her eyes landed on the Governors table and she breathed a sigh of relief as she recognised that there were several empty seats. There was not a chance in the world that she was willing to sit in such an awkward atmosphere with Will, and so she decided that she was going to seat herself next to the men, that never failed to have her back. Eli stood up and stretched his arms open as she approached the table, under the observation of many men and woman seated in their seats.

The sound of the woman talking on stage blurred in her ears, and she hugged Eli in response before glancing down at her ex-husband. "Good evening." He said, smiling up at her.

She knew that what she was about to do was undeniably foolish, that she deserved to be thrown a large sack of ice water for her decision, but it was only Peter, and she wanted to feel empowered, she wanted to show that Will was not the only man she desired at the moment, even though that wasn't true.

She lent down, and pressed her lips against Peter's.

It was brief, fleeting, as if it were meant for a stranger, but she distinguished by the sounds of gasps coming around the room, and jaws dropping that she had indeed given a wave of shock, followed by many whispers circling, all in which questioning if Alicia and Peter were together again.

She sat down, in elegance, and made eye contact with Peter, who wore a look of amusement. Surprisingly, Eli looked as though he wanted to burst in laughter as well.

She shrugged, and raised a brow. "What?"

"I wasn't expecting that."

She lent over to whisper in his ear, "You're my ex-husband, it's not like we haven't done it before."

"I'm afraid I'll have to release a statement to the press in the morning."

She smiled in response, and seated herself closer, she had always felt a sense of security when she was in the presence of Peter. "You don't mind if sit here with you guys right?"

"Sure. What's going on there?" He gestured off to her table, and the three pair of eyes that were staring at them from a far.

She rolled her eyes, and shook it off. "Colleague troubles. Cary and I aren't in the best place at the moment."

"Anything that I can help you with?"

"Well, I would like to run away across the border and change my name?"

He laughed, "Yeah right, you wouldn't last five minutes without Zach and Grace."

She laughed, "True."

"So…" Eli started, "I heard you're one of the guest speakers tonight."

"One out of twenty four Eli, and yes, I'm placed in the middle, which means that it's going to be a long night."

"What's your speech about?"

"Oh you know," she shrugged, "My divorce, why I did it, the reason behind it, how much I hate the media, etcetera…"

Eli looked as though a wave of panic had struck him, bursting into laughter, she shook her head. "I'm joking!"

He breathed a sigh of relief, before shaking his head in warning. He took a moment to observe her and raised a brow. "What's up with you?"

"What?"

"You look different," –he noticed. "What have you done to my friend?"

She smiled and shook her head, Maybe her sarcasm had everything to do with the fact that less than fifteen minutes ago, she had witnessed the man that she was hopelessly in-love with, hold onto another woman's arm. It had dawned on her, and it had released her inner ambitions, released the anger and frustration that had piled up over the year. She was over it.

She was ready to let go of all emotions and frustration tonight, and she decided, right then and there that her speech was going to be a memorable one.

The men that she was introduced to overnight seemed to focus on her completely, she wasn't all that surprised really, she just wished they had enough respect not to pry into her private space and stare at her and Peter suspiciously.

Though she did remain in her seat until her name was called out, and once she set herself on stage, she smiled sweetly and directed her main focus in wooing the audience, which she did so elegantly as she felt intense eyes survey her body.

"Good evening." She spoke into the mike. She too was surprised at the confidence within her, even when she made eye contact with Will for a brief second, it didn't weigh her done, in fact it concluded the complete opposite.

"I was honoured to receive an invitation to such a wonderful event." –she lied, "And I was doubled over to learn that this organisation wanted me to speak."

She allowed the silence to fill and smiled, falsely. The sarcasm was slowly approaching, she just needed a few more sentences to get to the main point "Well, as you all know, we've had a spot of trouble lately." Laughter echoed the room.

"I wasn't planning on jumping to this topic, I thought feminism would be a great one, but then I recalled that being exactly what I did last year and I had three hundred people walk out on me – Literally." She chuckled along with the rest before adding.

"Less than twenty years ago, I fell pregnant with my first child, and after he was born, I decided to leave the law. I left it because it was a choice, a choice that I was happy with, and I would do it all over again."

"Some of you ask why did I leave the law. And well, it can only be justified in a way in which I fell in love –I fell in love with my children, and being a mother."

"My father, years ago, once told me that when people dream of marrying, they rarely comprehend what it actually means." She paused, surveyed the quiet room and continued. "It means….. It means having to choose. And I chose my family."

"That time may be completed, and as you all know I have returned to the law, but It doesn't limit the presence of being a parent. And those of you here, who are lawyers as well as parents will know _exactly _what I mean. Maybe I'm naïve but… but I believe in balance, and privacy as well as confidentiality. And for the past year, these three concepts have been lacking. Extremely."

"I can't remember the last time I was able to go grocery shopping without getting photographed, or my face plastid on every paper out there. As a parent, you try your hardest to shield your children from pain, but when the pressure doesn't stop, you feel isolated, and you feel as though the entire world is caving in on you and you can't do anything about it. The media play its part, the public can have their opinions, judges may have their views of you in court, lawyers may take it as an advantage to steal one of your clients, but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter, because as long as you have family, or friends that support you one hundred percent, those hateful comments about you slowly drift away." She paused and directed her eyes along the small crowd. "So, please, whatever opinions you have of me, whether it be from that voicemail, or the decision to divorce, get over it." She turned her conversation, and watched as Eli's face, from a far turned completely red.

"Because ultimately, you're not one who has to put up with those opinions of you each day, and regardless, I really _don't_ care what you all think of me, have a great night."

It was fast paced, that was her intention, and it was also bold and undeniably blunt. She wasn't one to gloat though, she was fed up by the judging, and knowing looks that were thrown her way each day, the whispering and comments about her daughter, or her own breaking voicemail. She figured she had gotten reimbursement for it though, after the media had erased the voicemail under the knowledge that what they had done was undeniably illegal. And the knowledge that a law suit was waiting under the wings towards the creep who hacked into Graces computer, was all very soothing, though it did not erase what had happened, the speech she had just presented was the final straw, it was allowing that anger to subside and finally move on.

For good.

She knew, cunningly that Elsbeth Tascioni's speech was in no way, going to match hers.

The hour that passed was excruciatingly painful, the jokes that were shared on stage weren't even remotely funny, and the food had fallen uneaten after she realised it wasn't cooked properly, this was why she hated these events, they were filled with false human beings –mostly anyway- knowing that there was a whole world out there was reassuring though, and that when she was to arrive home, she was able to snuggle on the couch with her daughter and listen to her complain about her mother's need to kiss her forehead every five minutes.

"Peter." She said hesitantly, the sound of the current speaker's voice outshone the room.

"Yea?"

"I'm sorry for kissing you earlier on." She whispered.

She found the courage to meet his gaze, his brows creased. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," she sighed. "No, actually, I don't know what I mean."

He laughed, which brought a smile to her lips.

"I just." She began again. "It felt…" she struggled to continue.

"Weird." Peter finished.

She grinned. "Exactly."

"Is it about Will?"

She allowed her eyes to meet his in surprise, acknowledged that he did not wear a look of anger, instead, concern which was surprising to say the least. She was aware more than anyone that those two never really got along.

She shrugged, "I don't know. I just felt like it had to be done, for me."

_For me._

How selfish could she really be?

"I mean." She felt baffled in her own words, which was astounding, taking in that she was named one of the most composed woman of the year in the times. "I need to feel in control, for my own sanity, and being with you in _that_ way..." Jesus. Why couldn't she establish her way with this one?

She felt his hand on hers. "I understand." She knew deep down he wasn't approving, but he could clearly see that her mind wasn't one hundred percent in focus.

"I've began dating again." He changed the direction of their conversation. She felt her eyes wide and a smile tug at her lips.

"Really?"

He smiled. "Yes. She's a politician."

That had taken her by surprise. She grinned wide, "Really? Does she work with you?"

"No. She's uh." He was on his toes. "It's kind of opposite. She's a republican."

She couldn't tell if he were serious or not. Her face dropped immediately and she pulled back in shock.

"You're not serious right?"

The gag was liberated as she heard Eli spit out his drink in laughter, followed by the smile that formed on Peter's lips as he chuckled towards the ground.

She slapped his shoulder, outraged. "That was not funny!"

"You have to admit, it was." Says Eli. "You should have seen your face. You were shocked"

"Because It's like Obama dating Sarah Palin!."

The table erupted in laughter, she figured by the many glances around the room that they had gained some attention. She felt a little queasy to the knowledge that throughout the night, she could feel Will's gaze on her, and in this moment he hadn't failed to let her know that he was watching her. She placed her napkin on the table, and quietly excused herself.

As soon as she came out from the bathroom the sight of Will showing blondie out of the building stopped her, and it was so much more upsetting when she realized he was near. She stood behind the corner for five minutes, she was sure that he had disappeared when somebody grabbed her by the hand and she looked up to see Will standing before her.

He had followed her, for this exact reason.

"Will, I'm tired, don't do this."

"You can't avoid this any longer." Apparent, in Will's case, persistency was a bitch.

"I can't?" she gaped, "Seems like you already have. You certainly couldn't wait to snatch the next blonde when I left."

"Is that was this is about? Isabell? You're pissed?"

"I'm pissed? What the hell do you think?" she paused, shook her head and waved her hand in defeat. "I'm too old for these high school games. I'm done. Seriously. I'm exhausted and whatever it was between us, it's over."

As she turned to leave, she felt Will's hand on her shoulder, and glanced up to see his eyes. "No it's not."

His touch irritated her, almost made her squirm, and so without acknowledging her actions, she pushed him and shook her head. "I don't want to talk right now, my head is spinning and I'm tired."

"When are we going to talk then Alicia?" he said, anger filling in his features. "Next year? The year after? I told you I couldn't wait forever."

"And I told you I needed time! Instead you went and banged the next girl with a pulse."

She watched as he laughed before shaking his head in frustration, "You've got it all wrong Alicia. Isabell's gone, she's just a friend."

"Good for you." She mumbled, and headed for the exit until she felt his hand on hers, the need to object came fast, until she heard a voice behind her and felt her heart stop.

"Leave her." Peter said, she watched as a flame of anger flickered through Will's eyes as he met Peter's and she silently cursed herself, she shuttered at the thought of either men hurting one another.

She felt her heartrate thicken, and she suddenly felt crammed and condensed in the large hallway.

"You've done enough," Peter glared.

"Don't go there with me Peter." Will stood up against him, "This has nothing to do with you."

"This has everything to do with me, she's my wife!"

_"Ex wife-" _Will reminded, both men were enclosed together that if one were to move closer, their noses would be touching.

She felt that same feeling again, as if her world were spinning out of control, as if her mind couldn't function.

Her head started to spin.

"And you're nothing to her, except for another one of her ex-boyfriends who can't seem to get away. You're pathetic." Peter scoffed, she guessed it was the last straw for Will, once he shoved Peter against the chest, he retaliated and returned the favour, the force was huge that Will almost stumbled, until his fist came flying and punched Peter in the nose. It was enough for her to recognise that she needed to interfere before either one were to cause a stir, she slipped in between them and placed a hand on each men's chest. "Stop, stop, stop! That's enough!"

Both men stood, unfazed by the woman standing before them. She watched Peter's eye hover over Will's, she suddenly knew something had to be done before he were to kill him.

It felt like a split second, but Peter managed to shove her out of the way and his fist went flying in the direction of Will's nose the blood that began to gush out suggested the damage wasn't as severe as Peter's, though she did manage to stand between them once more and grasped Peter's attention. Looking him in the eye, she shook her head. "Peter, don't do this."

His head split into two, and so far there were two Peter's standing before her eyes. She silently wondered if the alcohol was starting to take it's toll.

As he gazed down at her, his eyes began to cool, and she silently breathed a sigh of relief. She had witnessed that same look in his eyes many times before, and the idea of Will damaged from a result of her doing shuddered her to her very core. "We're going home."

"She isn't going anywhere with you!" Will interfered, to which Peter used his free hand to push Will against the chest, from a far she could see that Diane and Eli were approaching and her heart began to slow down again, glad that someone was finally stepping in, and giving her the need to find fresh air as soon as possible.

"You don't deserve her."

Will laughed, "I could say the same to you."

"Stop it!" she yelled, "You are both ridiculous, I am not some damn consolation accolade! I'm done."

The room climaxed into silence that she was sure her ears were about to explode, even the sound of Diane's heels stopped abruptly as she said those words. She sighed, "Go home, the both of you." She pushed each one away from her touch, "I can't deal with this anymore."

She prevailed outside of the hall and sloped into the nearest room, the balcony that accentuated the area drawled her in. The fresh air that hit her was well defined and needed, she braced the palm of her hands against the railing and sighed, allowed the wind to blow her hair and her eyes to close. Several minutes passed and when she finally gathered her composure, her gaze fell on her feet and her mind began to spin again, everything around her was rotating, her ears were ringing, her breathing became rapid and she stumbled her way towards the wall next to the door, when her hand couldn't reach for the handle, her body failed to respond and she felt herself drop.

Once her head hit the pot plant below, and the feeling of blood gushing out of her forehead, she allowed her eyes to fall across the stars, followed by darkness.


	7. Chapter 7

Voices echoed her ears as she felt her eyes flutter open. Her vision was blurred, and her ears were ringing. She felt a body pressed on the edge of the bed, with a hand holding her own in someone's lap. The sound of Grace's voice shot through to her ears, and as she distinguished her surroundings, she found her daughter staring right at her. "Mom? Mom? Are you awake?"

"Okay Gracie, that's enough, I think you're disturbing her space." Veronica said, to which Grace threw her one of Alicia's famous glares that she had ironically inherited over the past year.

Alicia glanced around the room to find familiar faces staring down at her, Bill sat on one of the benches from a far, her daughter and mother stood closest, and then there was the rest, Eli, Peter, Diane, Cary, Owen, Kalinda, and Will.

She suddenly felt enclosed, by the concerned faces that stood out from a far, she felt as though the room were spinning and everyone was standing above her. She groaned from the ongoing pain to her head, and instinctively moved her hand to her forehead, pulling it back, she saw the blood printed on her hand. She was still in her dress, which meant that she couldn't have been asleep for too long, but the distinctive sound of machines and the scent of antiseptic flooded her nostrils.

"Alicia honey, it's me, do you know where you are?" her mother asked,

"Disney land." She grinned, which brought a giggle to Graces lips, she was glad that she had managed to do something right.

"This isn't funny sweetheart," Bill said softly, "You're in the hospital, your friends found you passed out in a pool of blood."

She squinted her eyes shut and covered them, yielding from the strong light bulb placed above her. She lacked in recalling what had happened, other than she had attended the fundraiser dinner, and stood in between the men she loved and vowed to put herself in danger before any of them were to get hurt. Will sat in the corner of the room, his tie undone, and sweat beading on his forehead, she couldn't help but notice how his eyes never left her position and she felt sorry for him, she knew that when there was trouble lurking in Will's life, it always had a connection to her being.

"My head hurts"

"And it should, the doctor says you must have been out there for a good hour."

She squinted, and furrowed her brows in confusion. "Out where?"

"Outside on the balcony. You hit your head on a pot plant."

She laughed, then groaned as she realized it had an impact on her head.

Just then, the nurse and doctor returned to the room, "Alicia, good to see you again." He announced, as she recognised him, her throat nearly bolted out and she covered her eyes in embarrassment.

"Oh no.."

Veronica wore a look of amusement, which was expected under the knowledge that her mother was the only one who knew the connection. Eric grinned nervously as she avoided the need to look him in the eye, "Is there a possibility that I can get another doctor nurse?"

The confusion that waved across the room was obvious, and it was clear that everyone had been taken off guard.

"Relax Alicia" Eric said, "I'm just doing my job."

She shook her head in defeat, "Out of all the medics in the hospital…" she mumbled.

The tension between the two was visible, from a far she could see that Will wore a look of confusion as he glanced between the two, she felt for him, she wouldn't know what to do if she were in his position, and as her eyes lingered along her attire, she could smell his familiar scent and cologne all over her, she wondered if he had been with her the whole time.

Even though there was a high probability that he wasn't, she still smiled at the idea.

"Can we have the room please? The family can stay." Eric announced, once Diane and the rest had descended, she noted Will begin to leave the room, and quietly stopped him. "Will can stay." The tension that arose between Will and Peter created a huge elephant in the room, thankfully, nobody else was able to notice it other than herself, unless the damage on her head was less severe than what she expected.

Her doctor threw a glance towards the seventeen year old, who raised a brow, ready to fight against the debate. "I wonder if this discussion is suitable for your child Alicia." He didn't meant to sound indifferent or harsh, but she could see that there was a hint of plea in his voice. She furrowed her brow in confusion up at him, to which he nodded, convinced of himself. She threw Peter a glance that wore her claim, and he nodded. "How about we go get something to eat hun?"

Grace refused, "But I want to stay here."

"I'll call you in once done sweetheart."

As reluctantly as ever, Grace followed her father outside of the room, in advance throwing the doctor a glare. Once they were out of the room, Will stood at the foot of the bed, and maintained and careful ear towards the medics words.

"What is it?"

"We found drugs in your system Alicia, one that we like to call GHB -gamma-Hydroxybutyric acid. It usually takes one over twelve hours to wake, but in your case, it's been two hours since you were discovered. Can you recall anything from tonight?"

His statement had taken her off guard, of course it had. Drugs? GHB? She had never touched that stuff in her life, nor was she willing to even go there.

She shook her head, "No, I - I can't remember anything.."

"Sis, is this true? Were you taking drugs?" Owen said, bewildered, she shook her head puzzled, she wasn't so sure herself. It had been a hectic couple of weeks, she was reluctant to say that she wasn't in doubt, and memory loss of the entire night wasn't helping in anyway either.

"I – I don't know.." her mind began to spin again, her gaze fell on Will as he stared down at her, she noticed the mix of grief and concern shadowing his features. "I can't remember anything."

"There's a high probability that your drink was spiked, but your system doesn't have much alcohol in it, so I doubt it."

He was right, she could only recall drinking maybe two glasses of wine that night, even less, she refused to drink anymore after that because of her speech. Her gaze turned to her mother, who stared down at her hesitantly as well as questioning her mental state.

"It's not true!" She gaped, reluctant to believe that her mother would believe such a thing. "I don't do drugs! You know that more than anyone!"

As she gazed around the room, the expressions that each one wore were unenthusiastic, indisposed, she couldn't believe that they had all turned against her, especially Will, though he did look as though he was unwilling to believe it himself, after she gazed into his eyes pleading, her threw the doctor a questionably glare and shifted on his feet.

"How do you know if it were a drug?" he shifted on his feet, "You can't be entirely sure, it might just be the alcohol or medication you used on her for her head."

She was glad that he stood up for her, she was glad that he could see her internal conflict and that he wasn't willing to believe it either. She knew she could always trust him, even under all the indifferences that they had experienced, he would always be there for her regardless, he would always come in to save the day.

Eric shook his head though and turned to face him, "Our scans a positive that GHB had been consumed and it's definitely a drug."

"It was a long night, and there were a lot of people there."

"Trustworthy people?" the doctor asked.

Will shrugged, "No, not really. There were a lot of people in proximity as well."

Eric flipped his papers over, "From now on, try and be a bit more careful, you can't trust anyone, especially in your condition. I'll be back."

_In your condition? _What was that supposed to mean. Before she could retaliate, he disappeared out of the room, leaving the four of them alone. She raised a brow at her mother. "What are doing here mom?"

"We were already in Chicago when I got the call. What were you thinking? Drugs?"

"Mom!" she gaped, "I didn't do it!" She was offended, and felt as though nobody was willing to listen to her, she wanted to scream to the top of her lungs, and dig herself under the covers.

Veronica rolled her eyes, "I know that! But this is like high school all over again!"

She groaned and shook her head in defeat, after they left the room, she and Will were left alone at last and he stared down at her, a mix of concern and alarm in his features. She raised a brow at him, "You don't believe me do you?"

The silence that surfaced was all the answer she needed. The minutes that passed were surprisingly soothing –no tension needed- they gazed into each other's eyes from a far, until he moved from the foot of the bed to her side, he seemed hesitant, careful, but sitting on the edge of the bed, she felt her hand travel to his and on pure instinct, they entwined their fingers together, with their eyes never leaving each other's.

"You nearly gave me a heart attack."

She shrugged, "It couldn't have been any worse than hitting your head on a sharp edge." She tried to throw in some humour, but knew it was hopeless as his face dropped.

"You always used to laugh at my jokes."

"This isn't a time for jokes Alicia. And that was before."

Almost on instinct, her brows raised and she stared at him questionably, "Before?" she said. "You mean when we were friends?"

"We're still friends."

"Yea, you should think about that statement before you say it." She began to pull away from his touch, until she felt his hand press down on her forearm, quietly stopping her.

"Don't" he insisted. "This isn't fair Alicia, what you're doing to me, it isn't fair."

"And what's that Will?"

"Pointing me out as the enemy, pulling me in when you feel like it before pushing me away. I'm trying to get in your head and…."

-"I don't want you in my head." She interrupted before he could continue, and laughed lightly. "If you knew what I was thinking half the time, you'd _never _forgive yourself." She looked him deadly in the eye, she expected some sort of reaction, or the familiar sight of his face ripping, that's what she was mostly aware of these days, and she knew it was undeniably selfish and cruel, but she couldn't stop herself, she wanted to hurt him, verbally, psychologically, wanted to return the favour, and she hated herself for it.

Instead, Will shook his head in defeat as he stared down at her.

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Say cruel things in order to push me away. I'm not going anywhere Alicia, I love you."

"I don't believe you."

"Well then you're a fool."

The long silence lasted for a good two minutes, she counted it by the ticking of the clock in the far room, and even though she wanted to let go of his hand, she couldn't find the courage to do so, his hand was soft, and shielding, and it calmed her to have his thumb run soft patterns along the palm of her hand.

"Isabell is not my girlfriend." His statement interrupted her, making eye contact with him, he continued.

"She's just a friend."

_A friend. _Yeah right, she wasn't that naïve. Even though she considered his statement moderately true, she was aware that the two most likely had history, or some kind of relationship in the past. Unbelievably though, she found herself not caring.

"Will" she sighed, "We're not doing this."

"I know." he whispered.

"So…" she reared off, "You found me on the balcony?"

"No. Diane did. She came back in and told us, you weren't breathing."

"I wasn't?" she said in shock.

"No. Whatever you took, it must have been pretty dangerous."

She stared at him in complete shock, and sat up grasping his attention. "Will" she said, "I didn't take that stuff, you know me. You know me more than anybody, GHB? I'm not insane Will. It's nonsensical, do you really believe I would do that?"

He gazed down at her, his features filling with grief, and grasped her hand completely. "I think you've had a tough year, and you've been going through a lot.." Almost instantly, she pulled away from his touch and folded her arms, avoiding his gaze all together.

"I think you should leave Will."

"Don't do this Alicia."

"I thought I could trust you," she whispered, "Clearly, I was miscalculated."

Placing a hand on her hip bone to gain her attention, he shifted closer. "You _can_ trust me. You know you can." She avoided his gaze and shook her head, sighing, he removed his hand. "Look, maybe I over-exercised it, but I'm only questioning it because I'm worried about you; we haven't spoken in weeks, you disappear each weekend, and you come back each time a different person. Cary told me you just disappeared for two weeks, you didn't call, you failed to email, and now this happens, what am I supposed to think Alicia? Should I wait for the next round to happen before I come in and carry you home? I'm sick of this."

Regardless of everything between them, she knew he was right, she had probably brought a lot of grief upon him in the last few months, she wasn't proud of it, she wasn't happy that out of all people, he was assigned to be the hero. She made eye contact with him and sighed, he looked as though he were suffering through some internal war, and she knew that it came down to her, it always did.

She allowed the silence to fall, yet again, for several minutes. She heard him sigh. "if you're not even going to talk to me than I don't know why we are doing this." Again, she ignored him.

"You know what. I think I should just leave." He began to move.

She was confused, and on instinct, she grasped his hand tightly, gaining his attention. "No." _Don't leave me. Please._

She couldn't believe that she was about to do this, her head told her not to, but her heart screamed to touch him, to feel his warmth. Leaning forward, she placed her hand on his, she was reluctant at first, but he didn't seem to object, so she leant her forehead against his, and gazed down at their hands.

"I need you to believe me, because…. I already feel like a foreigner in front of my own family, and I don't want that to happen between us. I didn't do it Will, I'm in my forty's for Christ sakes." She grinned, though her aching head told her to lessen the need to laugh.

He managed to chuckle though, bringing a hand up to her cheek, he stroked it softly. "I know you didn't do it."

She smiled softly and leant into him, resting the side of her head against his shoulder, she felt his warm arms wrap around her slim waist and allowed his warmth to radiate through her. She savoured the moment, knowing that soon they would be separated.

"I miss you Alicia," he murmured in her ear.

"I'm right here"

"Yes, but for how long?" he asked, "Just for the night? Before you disappear again,? god knows where you've been all this time…"

Pulling back, she gazed into his eyes and sighed. "It's Private Will."

He looked her in the eye, as if comprehending his emotions, before continuing. "What's so private that you'd prefer to keep it from me?"

"It's just family stuff," she said, shrugging. "I've been spending more time with my family, that's it."

She didn't want to explain to him that she had been living a totally different life compared to their usual one, that she had her own _horse_ who had filled her heart in more ways than one, that there was a lifestyle outside of Chicago that she was in love with.

He sighed, "I don't know anymore."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I don't want to have to see you twice a week, like last time. I want to see you every day, and I refuse to watch you leave each weekend because you want to see… _family._"

"It's complicated Will, my life is complicated. You of all people know that."

"No. Three years ago your life was complicated because you were married, and we were sleeping together, to make matters worse I was your boss, but now all those scenarios have been erased. Complex doesn't justify the fact that you won't tell me anything about this whole other life you have that _I_ don't know about."

"Will," she said. "It isn't something that I'm comfortable sharing with you right now, maybe I will one day, but right now, I need to focus on us."

_On us._

She distinguished a smile play on his lips, and she knew she had gotten to him, caught him in the right place. Wrapping her arms around him, she rested her head on his shoulder and sighed, they still had a lot to discuss, a lot to work through, not to mention the need to cure the lack of sleep both of them were experiencing, but it was okay, _they_ were okay, though one could only guess.

"Can I come home with you?" She didn't want to seem vulnerable, she didn't want to seem clingy, but she needed him, she hated him but she also needed to wake up in his arms and know that this –whatever it was- was going to happen regardless.

"Your daughter?"

"She's staying at Peters, and I'm afraid if I go home my mother and Owen are just going to poke around me like I'm some disabled patient."

He chuckled lightly before nodding, "Okay."

"Okay."

Just as the nurse and her doctor approached the room, they reluctantly pulled away from each other, and he sat on one of the chairs as Eric stitched the large cut on the edge of her forehead. Somewhere in the middle of it, Grace had eventually made her presence and claimed her territory pretty well as she propped herself on the bed next to her mother. She asked naïve questions, all having to do with how bad it hurt, and whined on why she couldn't come home with her, to which Alicia debated her at its best. Her daughter was definitely going to make a great lawyer one day, just as her son was going to be the best technician in Chicago.

Grace and Will made light conversation, she asked about college and law school, and he told her incredulous jokes about how disobedient Alicia was in college. It was interesting to see the dynamic between them, she had always been reluctant in introducing Will to her children –she still was- yet, everything between them ran as smooth as ever, however she did faintly notice how Grace seemed shy at first, her confidence had been hidden as she glanced between her mother and the man sitting in the corner.

She kissed her daughter goodbye, and once everyone had disappeared, she stood on two feet and grasped Will's shoulder for support.

"You okay?" he stated, concern etching through his features.

She nodded, "Yea, home, clothes, then your place."

The drive to her apartment wasn't too long, and once she entered her home, she headed straight for the bedroom and started packing a night's worth of clothes. The text message from Owen that popped up on her phone warned her that he was on his way, grinning, she shook her head under the knowledge that whatever she had to say, he wouldn't listen anyway.

"We need to go." She said as she found Will standing in her kitchen, his gaze seemed lost, and his body language suggested his discomfort in the area.

"What is it?"

Shrugging, he shook his head. "Nothing – It's just – the last time I was here…" he trailed off.

The last time he was here she had asked him to leave.

"I know." she murmured, walking to him, she grasped his hand, seizing his attention. He smiled down at her, and flickered his thumb against the large plaster below the edge of her hair and forehead. The scar was still visible and there were traces of blood smeared across it, but she figured by the way he stared at her that she couldn't be that bad.

Once they were in the lobby, he flipped her bag over his shoulder and coaxed her wrist into entwining fingers with his. She smiled up at him once outside, and he pressed a fleeting kiss against her forehead as he helped her into the car.

It was as if everything that had happen between them earlier on was just erased, Isabell, her speech, her words of cruelty she managed to throw in Will's face throughout the night, and not to mention the fact that she kissed her ex-husband in order to make him jealous. It was all very immature, yet it hadn't resonated through her that tonight was supposed to end with a few tears, and not the sight of Will Gardner undressing her for a bath.

She breathed a sigh of release as she settled into the large bathtub, she certainly was not religious, but god was this bathroom amazing. She briefly wondered where he was until he announced his presence when he passed her a glass of juice and medication. He seated himself on the edge of the bathtub, and she briefly considered pulling him into the water, but then with his noticeably expensive tuxedo would probably get ruined and she considered otherwise.

However she can't deny it did humor her as he watched her from above, and she savoured the moment as she closed her eyes and allowed him to take her complexion in fully.

He didn't join her, but he did –as gently as ever- wiped the excess off her forehead followed by cleansing her hair. She dressed in a pair of silk pyjama pants, and shrugged into one of his hoodies.

She cuddled into his warmth once in bed, even when she closed her eyes and laid peacefully in his arms, she couldn't deny the fact that his moment of sleep would come later, she distinguished that he wanted the moment to last forever –so did she- and she realized that he wasn't willing to close his eyes anytime soon, reaching up, she pressed her lips against his for the first time that night. She couldn't recall the last time they had actually allowed themselves to kiss each other fully, without any reluctance or anger towards each other. She ran her fingers through his hair and gazed into his eyes. He kissed her nose softly, and she giggled quietly in response.

They had been through so much, and yet, the reasons were small. No matter how much they were both determined in screwing each over, fate always seemed to bring them back to this moment.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N It's an early update on my part; been working on completing the story before i start back up at college. Warning, A bit of cursing, a.k.a T rating in the bottom lol. Thank you all for the feedback, your reviews make me laugh so much!

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><p>She sat on the edge of his bed, freshly clothed as she stared down at a sleeping Will, he was adorable when he was unconscious, though he was when he was awake as well but she would never verbally admit that, not in front of him anyway. She had woken that morning with the notion of Will's arms wrapped around her, holding her tightly as he breathed into the curve of her neck. She couldn't deny that she was not expecting it, he held her as if he were afraid she would slope, even when asleep he had anxiety of what were to happen after this milestone. She naturally found it endearing of course, no man had ever held her as tight as Will did, nor had anyone made her feel so adored and <em>loved. <em>

She most definitely could not deny that she were afraid of what the future were to be between them, it had only struck her this morning that they hadn't really laid out a plan, but instead she allowed Will to whisk her back to his place and nurse her like a baby. Her head hurt slightly from the night before, the large plaster that was placed above her forehead gave her the sense of humiliation, she had been through far worse things but the big sign on her head was enough to suggest that she couldn't take care of herself, and she hated that more than ever.

Her cell phone caught her attention for the fourth time that morning, Grace's concern for her well-being was at its finest of gorgeousness, but it also married up with her daughters undeniable nagging requests to head out to the ranch for the weekend, Alicia was aware that she should probably stay with Will and sort out whatever had to be completed between their relationship, but the image of Sapphire, and one, quiet afternoon outside of the city appealed to her, outweighed everything.

She considered maybe leaving Will to sleep, but thought better of it, after everything he had done for her, he deserved better. She leant down and pressed a soft kiss against his cheek, stirring him awake as she ran her fingers through his hair. "Will," she whispered, he mumbled something incoherent as a response and she continued. "I have to go." Her voice was laced with remorse.

"No." he mumbled, his eyes still closed. "No you don't."

She grinned, "Yes, I do."

He shifted on his back and gazed up at her, reluctantly through one eye. "Grace needs me, and we're going out to my mother's, just overnight."

He sat up against his elbows and stared at her questionably, "So, You're leaving?"

She nodded, and kept her gaze on his hand. "I really want to go Will."

"Alicia," he sighed, "We barely talked last night, and as soon as the sun has ascended, you're leaving again?"

"What's there to talk about though? We talked, we know how we feel about each other, isn't that enough?"

He shook his head, "No, it's not. A relationship needs more than promises and commitments, it needs action."

She sighed defeated, "God Will, What do you want from me?"

"Are you really asking me that question Alicia?" He was fully awake by now, sitting up, his eyes were conscious. She sighed, she was unrealistic in thinking that everything would take its course with ease, in fact she couldn't have been more wrong.

"What do you want from me Will?" she asked again,

"I want you to commit to us, that's what I want. I want you to convince me that you're in this for good… if you can't do that Alicia, then I'm not sure about…this anymore."

She felt her heart slowly rip into pieces by his words, she had spent months trying to pick up the pieces, only for this to happen? Again. No, she wasn't going to let fate and it's unfortunate timing get in the way this time.

Moving forward, she grasped his hand, the idea of losing him frightened her, and she knew that he was partially right, with an idea coming to mind, she smiled brightly. "Come with me."

He furrowed his brow in puzzlement, clearly she had muddled his already disoriented mind, she continued. "Come with me to my mother's ranch, we can spend the weekend out there and I can show you everything about it, you'll love it, trust me."

She seemed to have taken him totally off base, sitting up against the headboard, he shook his head in puzzlement. "Wait – you want me to come with you – to a ranch?"

She smiled, "It's a long story, I know it sounds a bit crazy, but it's peaceful out there, and it can give us some time to – talk.."

He looked reluctant, it was clear as day, he still seemed puzzled by the whole abrupt sequence, she wasn't planning on telling him about it, not so soon anyway, but it was the only way to convince him that she wanted this, just as much as he did, but it was going to take a bit more time and ultimately more controversy.

"Please." She feigned her best at her own foolish puppy dog eyes, which she caught Will try to stifle a grin. Sighing, "I don't know.." he said,

Crawling forward, she lent forward and pressed her lips against his, "Why not?"

"Why not?" he laughed, "Because your entire family hate me.."

Leaning back, she allowed him to take in the wave of confusion that resonated through her face. "No, they don't!"

"Yes, they do. You weren't conscious to see the looks your mother and her husband flung at me, not to mention Owen's need to ignore me the whole time last night. And I don't blame them either."

She felt anger fill within her, face boiling with fury, Will must have noticed because he placed a hand on hers trying to calm her, before he could speak though, she interrupted. "You're coming." She said, sternly. "And I will talk to my family."

"Alicia, no…"

"Yes. Will," she said. "I want you to come with me."

She watched as a smile hinted on the edge of his lips, sighing, he inclined his head against the headboard and shook his it in defeat. "You are brutally aware that if you keep staring at me like that I'm never going to refuse."

She smirked, cunningly before shifting closer, pressing her warm lips against his cheek, she smiled. "See? We're getting somewhere."

"I'm not going to last a minute out there with your family, you know that right?"

"Trust me, if I can last a lifetime with them, you can."

"You'll have my back?" he joked, stifled the need to laugh.

She smiled, "Always."

She had taken Grace through the conversation, she wasn't going to invite Will without consultation from her daughter, though Grace didn't seem to mind, but she couldn't deny that she did see a little hesitancy through her eyes. Veronica was ecstatic of course, Alicia had her doubts about her mother's odd behaviour lately, and wondered if it were a part of her game plan to lure Will in before murdering him from a result of the recent chaos, he, _they _both caused each other's hearts; she wasn't afraid to admit that she held fifty percent worth of responsibility in the downfall of her relationship with Will in the last year. However, it was Bill she was most concerned of, she quickly became aware that her step father wasn't a fan of the men in Alicia's life, she looked up to him, and therefore he had every right to be wary, but she just hoped that Bill wasn't going to carry his rifle around the house for the weekend.

Will offered to drive, she refused of course, she knew that he was just treating her like a baby, but when he gave her that knowing look, and she grasped the image of her tired eyes through the mirror, she rolled her eyes and threw him the keys. It was a long drive, Grace made easy conversation with Will as she sat in the backseat, and Alicia felt herself drifting in and out of consciousness. Her mind was still alert to her surroundings as she closed her eyes though, she felt herself drifting out when she heard Will speak. "I think your mom's fallen asleep, do you think you can pass me my coat in the back?"

"Yea, sure." She heard her daughter say,

She felt the warmth of Will's coat cover her body, it had his scent covered in it, his expensive cologne, and aftershave on his collar, she felt the heater in the car switch onto full blast and snuggled absentmindedly into her seat. Several minutes of comfortable silence passed, just before her head began to zone out fully, she heard Grace's voice again in the back of her mind.

"Will?" she asked hesitantly,

"Yea?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Is that voicemail about you?" Grace said, barely a whisper. Alicia tried to resist the need to bite her lip, in concern of announcing her consciousness.

"Yes." Will said honestly, his voice understoned. She hadn't expected his honesty to play out, and admired him for doing so.

"Do you plan on sticking around this time?" Grace asked, Alicia choked the need to bolt out of her seat and address her daughter's rudeness, but the need to listen to his response outweighed everything.

"Yes." The lack of hesitancy in his voice was appealing, she almost smiled, until she realized she was supposed to feign sleeping. "But," Will continued. "It depends.."

Alicia bit the inside of her lip, anxiety filling within her. Thankfully though, Grace asked the question that was longing in her mind. "It depends? Depends on what?"

Will sighed, "It depends on how long your mother will have me before she realizes she deserves better and kicks me out."

Alicia felt her insides do flip flops. The long seconds that passed weren't helping either.

"I don't think she'll do that." Grace said,

"I hope you're right."

"The reason I asked," Grace continued. "I'm going to college next year, and," she paused. "I'm just afraid she's going to be alone."

Grace's maturity had risen in the last months, Alicia began to notice, and she found it adorable that her children were concerned for her even at their age, but she also wished that they hadn't felt the need to protect her in the first place, that was her job and she had no problem in admitting that she was damn good at it, especially in the last year.

"She won't be alone Grace," Will prodded gently. "I won't allow that to happen."

"Good." Grace whispered,

"I'm not gonna hurt your mom any more than I already have Grace." She heard Will continue, "She – she's important to me, _really _important to me, so you don't have to worry."

"I know," she heard Grace whisper, "but my brother isn't as patient as I am, and when he comes back for Christmas, he's going to worry about mom, that's what he does, he likes to feel in-control.." Alicia could almost feel her daughter roll her eyes behind her shoulder. "And he's much more pragmatic than I am, so he'll have no problem in confronting you."

Alicia tried her best to resist the smile behind her lips, she felt sorry for Will, all this had been thrown to him at the speed of light and a huge weight was brought upon his shoulders. She heard Will chuckle lightly, "Thanks for the warning, but I think I'll stick around nonetheless."

An hour passed and within that time Alicia actually managed to fall asleep before she awoke to the sound of gravel underneath the car, alerting her that they were outside of Indiana and close to the ranch. She stretched in her seat and glanced through the mirror to see Grace playing on her iPad, "How long have I been out?" she yawned,

"Just a couple of hours, Grace showed me directions. How did you sleep?"

"Good, how was the drive?"

"Fine." He smiled, she was glad he wasn't willing to bring up the encounter from before that was still in her mind, even If they weren't privy to it. From a distance she could see the large white house that she had spent many nights in, pointing to it, she gestured to Will. "We're here."

He looked up and grinned, "I can see what you were talking about."

"Wait until you get inside, there's this huge oval staircase that stretches upstairs like two twin sets, and the stables at the back are amazing." Grace said,

She heard Will chuckle and then comment something funny but was too enamoured in focus towards the stables, she could vaguely see them from the driveway, she had forgotten over the last few days how well she was accustomed to this place, how much she loved it. Once reaching the front of the house, Grace ran off leaving Will and Alicia with the bags, she took the chance to press her lips against his cheek, "You okay?"

She had never seen Will as such a basket case, he was nervous, and she found it adorable. "I'm fine," he said, "No actually, I'm not." he replied.

Wrapping an arm around his waist, she moved into his embrace in which he hugged her against his side, she felt his lips press against her hair. "It'll be fine." She whispered.

And it was.

Thankfully.

Veronica prepared a large fiest, however, it was an awkward start with Bill's reluctancy into the dynamic, but she was grateful of Michael and June's presence, they made easy conversation with Will, and he seemed to be taking it with ease, though she couldn't resist her eyes falling on the stables outside once again. Afterwards, when everything was cleared up, and the sun began to set below the hills, she took Will outside to give him a tour, and without hesitation she took him straight to Sapphire.

His eyes went from Sapphires to Alicia's, his brow raised, he swallowed, "You – you ride this?"

She chuckled, "She has a name, and yes."

His jaw dropped in puzzlement, shaking his head baffled, he said. "You mean to say you ride horses now?" his eyes ran over the large one before him. "Giant ones." She laughed at his wave of shock and bafflement, nodding her head, she grasped his hand. "Let's take her for a walk,"

He looked unsure for a moment, "Relax," she assured him. "Just a walk."

"This is crazy." He said 30 minutes in, she held Sapphire by her leash as her other hand held onto Will's, she had shown him the rounds, explained to him what Bill did for a living and how he trained the horses, that most of them were trained from they were infants and continued until Bill thought they were worth selling to the highest bidder.

"Never in my lifetime had I pegged you to find a ranch house outside of the city, I always assumed you hated the countryside, you loathed the smell of manure."

She laughed, "I did – I still do, but it's different out here. It doesn't feel as if we're out in the middle of nowhere; that was the feeling I despised during my childhood. Now, it's a feeling I _want. _Control."

"So you're a cowgirl now?" he teased,

Nudging him in the chest with her finger, she pushed him away and laughed as he tackled her around her waist. "Don't even use that word" she pointed a finger.

Grasping her hand, he kissed the tip of her knuckles and smiled boyishly through his lashes, "I think It sexy," he proclaimed. "I think whatever you do sexy."

"Flattery will get you nowhere Gardner."

He laughed, "And yet, you seem to enjoy it every time." She rolled her eyes half-heartedly in response but couldn't contain the smile behind her lips.

She returned Sapphire back to the stables, and they made their way back to the house, it was dark out, and from a far she could see Grace sitting on the patio with a book in her hand, her gaze went from the patio to Will's and he nodded understandably. She watched as he made his way inside the house as gracefully as ever, and walked towards Grace. "Can I sit?" she asked the seventeen year old, Grace looked up from her book and nodded, shifting over in her chair, Alicia snuggled in with her while allowing Grace to nestle her head on her shoulder.

"It's nice out here at night huh?"

Grace nodded, "Yea, the stars are nice this way."

She ran her fingers through Grace's hair and glanced down at her, "You okay? –with Will and everything?"

She nodded, absentmindedly, "Yea."

"You sure? Because –" she paused, "I know it's been a really tough year; with the press and everything and I am sorry about all this happening now."

Grace shook her head, "Mom, its fine. Stop overthinking everything, I'm fine with Will being here."

"yes, but – do you have a problem with him and I? Because if you feel it makes you uncomfortable I can always stop the relationship.."

"No. Mom." She stared her in the eye, "It's fine. I like him, just – " she paused, glanced down almost in feign of hiding her face. "not enough to trust him, _yet_."

Alicia swallowed the ball behind her throat. She understood it, Grace always had problems with trust, after Peter was released from prison it had taken her a while to guard back into her father's arms, and with the last year and humiliation brought upon her, trust was most likely the one concept that reasoned and defined her nowadays. She held her tight and pressed her lips against Grace's forehead.

"You'll always come first.."

"I know." Grace mumbled. "But you don't have to worry about me all the time mom."

"I'm your mother Grace, it's my job to worry about you."

"Yes, but sometimes – it's good to worry about yourself for once."

"But that's selfish."

Grace seemed to ponder this for a moment, staring up at her, she raised a brow. "So, earlier at dinner when I was talking about how much the media irritates me, it must mean that I'm being selfish right?" she asked, -"Because I was worried for myself."

Grace's choice of words lifted Alicia's scrutiny of the topic, and she figured that was probably her motive, she pondered on it, and shook her head. "No, that - that's different."

"How is it different?" She asked,

And truth be told, there was no difference in the situation, in fact, she wondered if being selfish had anything to do with it, sighing, she grinned. "When did you get so grown up huh?"

Grace grinned, "When did you start lacking in having the best comebacks?"

"Okay, that's enough. I can deal with Zach turning into an adult, but you're still a baby."

Grace squirmed, "Mom…"

"I know, you're not a baby anymore, but I can still treat you like one."

"This is so not fair, you and dad should have had a third child!"

She couldn't resist the need to burst into laughter, shaking her head in amusement, she scoffed. "I think two is enough thank you! And I'm sure your father can agree with me on that one. Time for bed soon anyway, It's late."

As they walked into the large living room, she found the area crowded with somewhat of her family, including Will, she had gotten a natural shock seeing Owen hovered in the corner and embraced him in a hug, she waved his lengthy comment about Will, in the process of allowing him to follow her into the kitchen, she grazed her finger lightly along Will's shoulder as he sat having a comfortable conversation with Bill.

"So you two are together now?" Owen said once they entered the kitchen, thankfully the area was unoccupied.

"It's none of your business."

"You've always had bad taste in men." He mumbled,

She dropped the cutlery above the kitchen island, and sighed. "You know Owen, I wish you would just stop being so hypocritical. A year ago you were praising me to leave Peter and run off with Will. And, now! Suddenly you've decided to change your mind."

"That was before you two were going through world war three. The coldness in his eyes wasn't even worthy of an explanation back then."

She sighed, settling the plates back on the bench, she turned to face him and rested a hand on her hip. "Okay, let's not pretend that we haven't been through this again; where you stand in my kitchen drinking my wine whilst you tell me how much you hate my husband, we've done this before Owen, and I told you, stay out of it, this is _my_ life and I won't do what you want or what mom wants so back off. I've allowed you to run Peter off the cliff all these years because it was understandable, but I won't allow you to damage my relationship with Will, he's done things that he isn't proud of, but so have I."

The last statement had hit the nail off the coffin, because it was true. Both she and Will had done some things worth regretting, but that came hand in hand, they both screwed and corrupted each other in the last year, but it took two to tango, and it wasn't a job of equal pay.

Owen just threw back the glass of wine and backed his hands up in defence, "Fair enough sis, but I'm fed up in being the one whose shoulder is stained from your tears. Next time, I won't be there to hold you, unless of course you screw your doctor again and come in crying because you're afraid of becoming a bad role model for your seventeen year old daughter."

Without thinking, she grasped the plate and threw it at him, he ducked down in donging it and she watched as it smashed across the wall. She could vaguely recall a memory similar to this, back when they were kids, and suddenly remembered that it had been so long since they had such a large fallout. "You missed." She heard Owen say, she knew it was stupid, but his arrogancy had risen her temper levels and so she grasped the glass of wine and threw it, smashing across the floor, several feet away from Owen, she silently cursed herself before allowing her head to take over and her body to bolt forward.

"Asshole!" she yelled as she tackled him to the ground.

"Bitch!" he screamed, she slapped his face repeatedly in response as she straddled him. Several other plates and glasses fell to the floor from the chaos slowly building, but they were too enamoured in killing each other to think about the surroundings. She felt Owen push her off his body in which she landed against the floor, elusively, she felt sharp glass seep through her shoulder, but her mind was too much in a sense of full gear and adrenaline that she ignored it and went for round two.

"Get off of me!" Owen screamed as she punched him in the face, and watched as blood began to surface through his nose.

"Paybacks a bitch!" she replied, he pushed her off once more, and without knowledge, she went sliding across the floor, among broken glass and felt her head hit a sharp cut. She sat up once again and pushed Owen onto his back, hitting him –hopelessly- in the face, they both took a moment to gaze at each other and broke into fits of laughter. She rested the side of her head against his chest and laughed hysterically with him, she heard her mother's voice echo in the background.

"What the hell is going on!?"

She sat up and placed a hand on her forehead, the wound from the day before had reopened and blood began to gush out of her forehead, she glanced down to see that Owen's nose was bleeding.

They both gazed up to see their family standing beside the door, shock and horror travelling pass each one's eyes. As she made eye contact with Will, she tried her best to resist the need to laugh; this wasn't exactly the method she had imagined with him meeting her family, in fact she figured this was most likely the worst avenue to it, perfect way to describe the craziness of her life.

"Sorry," they both mumbled towards their mother who wore a look of utter distain and frustration.

She and Owen made eye contact yet again, and couldn't resist the need to chuckle in amusement once more.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N; with this chapter in mind months prior, led up to the choice of writing this story so yeah. oh and warning, m rating somewhere in the middle lol**

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><p>She sat on the bathroom sink as she observed Will move from the shower to her form, treating the wound on her forehead, and the large excessive cut on her shoulder. He hadn't spoken a word to her since the encounter with Owen, she could see from a mile away that he was pissed, most likely from the immature behaviour she seemed to put out, and she sat there like a sullen teenager, silently pondering if there was a chance Will and her mother inherited the same personality, Veronica's distant demeanour lately matched his.<p>

She jolted and placed a hand on his wrist as he pushed weight on the wound, he moved back to grasp the plaster and spray, she squirmed as the aerosol stung her wound. "That one hurt."

"It'll go away soon."

She looked up at him through her lashes and tried to grasp his attention by looking directly in his eyes, "Are you really going to ignore me for the whole night?"

He shrugged, "Maybe."

"Will," she sighed, "It was an accident."

"No. And accident is where you knock into someone on the train, not where you physically attack someone with glass."

She grabbed his wrist seizing his attention, "Hey," she said softly, "What's this all about?"

"I just can't believe how irresponsible you could be Alicia, the outcome could have been much worse if you two carried on, you could be in hospital right now."

"But I'm not," she said, "I'm fine, Owen and I made up, and I don't need to go to the hospital."

He shook his head, "You don't understand."

"Well then explain it to me."

Sighing, he threw the excess in the trash and turned the shower cap off, she wished he would remain still and stand before her, he continued, his back facing her. "I can't watch you harm yourself more than you already have Alicia, emotionally, physically, do you have any idea what runs through my mind when we're apart? The possibility that you could be intoxicated again, and fall into the streets where men can do – god knows what.. It mortifies me, and then I see you attacking the shit out of Owen and I can't help but think if any of this has to do with…" he stopped in his tracks, shook his head in defeat and maneuvered his way back into the bedroom.

"With what?" she followed him,

"Nothing." He mumbled, bending over to retrieve his clothes from his suitcase, he turned to see her standing before him, eyebrow raised. He sighed, "With what I done all those months ago." He threw his hands up in the air, frustrated. Moving across from her, he allowed himself to enter the bathroom and switched the shower back on.

"It wouldn't surprise me," he said, "We really managed to fuck things up didn't we? And I seem to have no control over the consequences."

She had gotten a natural shock hearing him curse, Will hardly ever swore, nor had he ever played his demeanor so calm either, as if the topic of their conversation wasn't worth reaching its breaking point. She heard the door shut, followed by the sound of Will entering the shower and she slumped against the bed.

She thought of all the difficult times she had experienced during her previous relationships, and the only man before Will was Peter. There were many reasons why their marriage failed, and the only one that could come to mind that was worth admitting was the fact that lack of communication played a bigger part in their factor, she did not want that with Will, and she was going to do everything in her power to hold that. She was aware that they both should have let each other go a long time ago, there was just too much water under the bridge, too much hatred, and yet, they loved each other too much to allow that to happen. With all the pain they had caused each other as equals, one would think that permitting that relationship to end would be the most reasonable choice, and yet, the heart told otherwise.

She made sure the bedroom door was locked before she undressed, and made her way into the bathroom fully naked, she found it appealing when Will ran his hands through his hair under water, it was undeniably attractive, though she tried to hide the smile behind her lips. Slipping up behind him, she turned his body around and tried to grasp his attention. "Look at me." She demanded, stroking his cheek, her eyes landed on his lips.

"Don't ruin this Will," she pleaded. "We've both done stupid things, people make mistakes, it doesn't mean you let it guilt trip you for the rest of your life." He just gazed down at her, his expression unreadable as he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. She sighed, "What's in the past is in the past, it doesn't faze me anymore Will, I don't care." She shrugged, nostalgically. "So stop it, because I can deal with egotistical Will but I can't deal with a miserable one."

The laugh that elicited from him brought a smile to her lips, and her heart to fill once again, she loved it when he laughed, reaching up on her heels, she pressed her lips against his and allowed him to gently push her against the tiled wall.

"I love you so much." He whispered in her ear, and she felt her heart fill over and over again. How was it possible that this man had such an effect on her?

She squirmed as the few cuts on her shoulder stung against the sharp touch of the tiled wall, felt as if ice had touched her flesh, so he pulled her against his chest, shielded her from the shower head and pressed light kisses against her shoulder. She hugged him tight, and savored the moment as she closed her eyes. The blurred view of them through the hazed mirror brought a sense of composure, as if everything else in the world didn't matter.

She was suddenly enormously grateful that her room was placed in the far corner of the house, in the back wing, far off from the others, when they fell on the bed, and eventually under the covers, everything between them came undone.

And it was unlike this time, different, he made love to her as if she were the only woman on earth he had ever cared for, as if he was willing to jump in front of a bullet for her. The pain and pleasure was extreme, and she knew right then that she desired him above all else. When he whispered words of love in her ear repetitively it never ceased to amaze her how three simple words were able to turn her whole world around.

His kisses burned her skin, his touch brought goose bumps along her spine, his breath against her face was delightful in all ways possible, his muscles reflexing against her figure caused her inner turmoil to slowly subside, she knew that her touch had just as much of an effect on him as it did from the other end.

His third thrust came in erratic from the others, and she knew he was aware of her desire, that she wanted him as much as he wanted her, and that she couldn't get enough. Each touch was more than just a feel, it came with a tingling sensation as if they were teenagers fighting the urge to eat each other till dawn, it was a form of expression, each moment where they were able to gaze into each other's eyes was more than just a stare, or a chance to catch one another's reaction, it was mirroring their emotions. Making love wasn't just a metaphor, it was real and it made up for the past year.

"Jesus Will." She sighed after climaxing.

The smug smile that formed on his lips suggested his satisfaction, and she laughed, it was replaced within minutes as his lips travelled to her neck and she moaned, running her hands through his hair, her breath caught in the back of her throat as his wet kisses travelled in between her breast and ended just above her abdomen. The intense desire fastened within in his eyes was almost frightening, as if he wanted nothing less. He kissed every inch of her stomach and then made his way further down, towards the place where she desired him the most.

"Will, I can't handle… oh god.." her sequence was muffled by a large sigh as his tongue dived into her, she arched her back and allowed her head to fall backwards. She felt him moan and the vibration sent courses throughout her body. The sudden sensation was killing, he wasn't afraid, nor reluctant, he went straight for it. Her mind was muddled. She couldn't think of anything except him. She gripped the headboard and sighed, her breathing thickened, and she moaned once again.

"Will.."

She grasped his hand tightly and directed it to cup her breast, in which he responded without much hesitation and manoeuvred his free hand to cup her other breast as he tasted every bit of her. She ran her fingernails through his hair softly, and felt him moan once again. She was done for it.

She grasped the pillow and covered her face into it as she came and cried loudly, muffling her resonance. She felt his lips travel back up to her neck, where she remained still as she tried to regain her breathing and allowed her eyes to finally open. Cupping his face, she delved her tongue into his, conveying her current emotions and felt him smile against her lips.

"Tired yet?" he whispered.

She chuckled, flipping him onto his back, she pressed her lips against his. "You wish."

Later on, she watched him sleep. Elbow propped up against her pillow, she laid on her side and admired his chest puff up and down, the sound of his small breaths made her smile. She wasn't religious, she knew that the entire world knew that. But she silently thanked god, or heaven, Jesus –whatever it was- for allowing him to be here, to breathe, talk, argue, push, just having him in her life was enough. They had their differences, but _nobody _was perfect, and she was aware of that now more than ever.

She ran her hand lightly through his hair, smiled at the idea that she had worn him out, and snuggled into his side, pressing a light kiss against his chest, she allowed herself to fall into state of unconsciousness.

Her eyes fluttered open by the looming light steering through the corner of the room, it was a sight her mind had been privy to these last few months, as she had woken up many times to rain, or sun creeping through the blinds. She glanced up at Will, he wore a look of serenity and contentment as he slept gracefully. She disliked the need to move from his arms but her attachment to the view outside appealed to her, the sun was slowly hovering below the hills and the silence among the house and barn was uncommon. Slowly pulling out of his embrace, she pressed a soft kiss against his forehead, and made her way to the large window that gave a peak towards the stables. It was the perfect time to take Sapphire out, but she mentally reminded herself to make sure she wouldn't spend hours out there roaming before Will were to wake.

She dressed, threw on her cap and quietly made her way outside of the house. The first notion she noticed when meeting the horse in the stables was that she looked uneasy with herself, and swayed on the edge of her heels. Alicia motioned a hand up to Sapphire's head in which she stiffened under her touch and moved forward, nudging Alicia's shoulder, Alicia could see from a short distance that she was extremely uncomfortable.

It never ceased to amaze her how beautiful the horse truly was once outside, the wind blowing through its fur, and her outsized body comparing to Alicia's small one, she was phenomenal. She coated her fur back and forth and softly stroked its face. "There. All better now."

Strapping herself on the saddle, she began coaching Sapphire in a steady pace, though the horse seemed uneasy on her feet and once they reached the bank, Alicia knew that something was wrong. From a far she could see Michael and his men working, they were cutting a tree down, and the sound of the chainsaw buzzing outscreamed everything.

And it happened in the matter of a second, before she could even comprehend what was going on, she went flying backwards as Sapphire freaked out, pounced upwards on her feet and allowed Alicia to fall off the saddle. She vaguely felt her leg twist as she hit the ground, and braced herself on her arms for support. Michael was next to her in the split of a second, she naturally rolled her eyes as he commented on how this must be some world record, she had managed to damage her body three times in less than 48 hours.

"We need to get Sapphire back to her staples, she needs to be settled in."

Michael stared at her in shock, "Are you serious? Alicia, you just fell off a ten foot sized animal, and you're worried about the horse?"

"It's not her fault! I shouldn't have brought her out here in the first place. And what on earth were you thinking bringing a chainsaw out here at six in the morning anyway!"

"So you're blaming me now! That's just great."

She shook her head, "Just get me inside."

He carried her to the house, under her own refusal, but as usual, he failed to listen. Once inside, she settled on the sofa whilst he went off to find a pack of ice. "Ahh" she twitched as she tried to manoeuvre her foot.

"You've twisted it," Michael said, she groaned,

"Why does it hurt so bad?"

"Because you took a nasty fall. You're gonna have to take it to the hospital."

"Oh god,"

"I always said riding Sapphire was a suicide attempt."

"Shut up, really, I'm not in the mood."

"Alicia?" Will turned the corner, clearly lacking sleep, he took one look at her and furrowed his brows in confusion, followed by deep concern.

"She fell off Sapphire," Michael explained. Placing her hand in her hair, she shook her head in defeat, whilst throwing him a vast glare.

"What?" Will gaped,

"It was an accident."

Will sat on the edge of the seat, and settled her foot on his lap, she grimaced as he manoeuvred it followed by the ease of his soft hands running smooth patterns along her skin, it made her tingle, and she suddenly wished the blush that formed on her cheeks wasn't so obvious, she could see from the knowing look on Will's face that he was aware of how much his touch affected her.

"We need to get it checked before it swells." Will said,

"Don't tell Bill," she instructed Michael,

"Like he isn't going to notice you limping around the house Alicia."

"I don't care! If he finds out he'll never allow me to ride Sapphire again."

"That's your problem. You could have landed on your head and cracked your neck! She's a risk to your life, to all of ours." Before she could retaliate, Will interrupted.

"Enough about the damn horse, we need to get you to a doctor. How far is the local hospital from here?"

"Ten kilometres, up the road." Veronica's voice spoke among the living room, glancing up, she saw that her mother stood against the door, her arms folded in one. Her manner suggested she was still pissed from the previous night's events, and Alicia looked down in disappointment.

"Mom, I didn't see you there."

"I couldn't sleep with all the noise happening down here, for a moment, I thought you and Owen had taken the living room with you as well."

She sighed, "I don't know how many times we have to say this, but we're sorry."

"Not as much as my china plates are."

"Remember when I was ten years old and you burnt all my Charles Dickens novels? I cried for weeks."

"I burnt those sweetheart because you were a ten year old kid reading literature for a thirty year old. Could you really blame me?"

She felt her fists rage into the palm of her hands, and before she could react, she felt Will's arm slip around her waist. "Come on," he whispered softly. "Let's get you in the car."

She allowed him to carry her through the terminal of the hospital, and felt herself smile lightly as they attracted attention, she couldn't blame them. A fine, racy and attractive man with messy bead head carrying a woman bridal style was appealing itself.

She had always been wary of medics, when she was seven years old she fell off her bike and broke her arm, her father had sat with her and held her as the paramedics stitched her up, but ever since, the faint sight of a bruise or spot of blood thickened her, so when Will never failed to let her go, a wave of comfort hit her, it might not have meant much to the outsider, but to her it was a sign, a sign that he was in this for the long run.

She banged her head against the wall as the doctor mentioned planting a cast on her ankle, it was proof in the fact that she was a clumsy, and violent woman in her mid-forties. Owen would be celebrating with her if he weren't at home suffering through the renowned unfortunate circumstances of a hangover.

As soon as the nurse had disappeared, Will grasped her hand earning her attention.

"Look at me." He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, "Michael's right. Promise me you'll never ride that horse again?"

She stared at him in shock, completely baffled, she shook her head perplexed. "What?"

"It's dangerous Alicia."

_Dangerous. _She was well aware that she was a stubborn woman, but she never allowed the knowledge to affect her. She shook her head. "Will." She paused, "You have no right to tell me whether I should stick to _my_ horse or not."

He sighed, defeated, and ran a hand through his hair. Alicia was born with an internal moral compass, her wisdom of doing right and wrong had clearly taken him off guard. "Alicia. You could have been battered."

"But I'm not." she defended herself.

He shook his head in defeat and avoided her gaze as he focused on the wall. "It's like our conversation last night meant nothing." He mumbled.

She furrowed her eyebrows, "What?"

"Nothing." Allowing the silence to fall, she stared at him from the side and ran her hands through his hair, the scene was ironic at its best, how was it possible that their conflicts had to transpire on a hospital bed?

"Fine, let's make a compromise." She started, "I'll be more careful this time okay? And I promise to take her out no less than once a day. She isn't going to injure me Will, she means importance to my stability."

"You talk of her as if she's a real person, she's a horse."

He was like the others, she came to realize, nobody understood her pull with Sapphire, she had hoped long ago that he would, longed for him to see what she saw, she had gotten her hopes up. Even though it was a bit of an exaggeration, Sapphire was the reason she was here today, after the humiliation the world had brought upon her, as well as her own personal dilemma with Will, she had assumed that burying herself alive was her only outcome, that was until she had met Sapphire.

She only wished that things hadn't turned out this way.

"She isn't just a horse." She pulled away from his touch, "You may think I'm crazy Will, but she means more than that, she was my escape mechanism from…." She paused, and avoided his gaze.

"From what?" he raised a brow.

"You." The answer was tangible, and he wore a look as if he was already aware of it, she considered leaving it at end, but chose otherwise and continued. "Chicago…. The press…. Public… Everything."

She watched carefully as he ran a hand through his hair, before meeting her gaze, he shifted closer on the bed and grasped her hand, tightly. "Okay." He sighed. "You can do whatever you want, with the horse, anything that makes you happy, under one condition."

She smiled at his earnestness, "What?"

"I've been wanting to do this since Georgetown, the timing just never came."

"Will, what are you talking about?"

"Marry me Alicia."

To say that he had taken her totally off the rail would be considered an understatement, she stared at him questionably, she knew it wasn't ideal, but she couldn't help herself and bursted into laughter. "No!"

"Why not?" he laughed.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes!"

Her gaze lingered along his face. He was on all levels serious, though the smile on his face suggested otherwise. She was baffled. Marry him? She would be lying to herself if she supposed the idea was crossing her mind at the moment, but marriage seemed so platonic these days, as if everyone were doing it for the sake of it, and she had already come out of a marriage, what would the world think if they were to learn she were already committing to another man in less than a year.

"Will… I." she paused, and her gaze landed absentmindedly on her left finger. There was still a mark rested from Peter's previous territory. To put another one on would be considered irrational, crazy, wild. And yet…. Her heart screamed at her.

She wanted it.

"I don't know.."

"Why?" he seemed so calm, it threw her off guard.

"Because" she shrugged, "Will, it's been less than three days since the night we got together and you're asking me to marry you?"

She was right. It was crazy. Three days, it had to be a record.

"Yes." He stated calmly. She shook her head baffled, it was as though the man sitting before her had vanished.

"Okay, what have you done to my Will?"

He laughed, "What?" she cupped his face and played with his cheekbones, he took the opportunity to plant a kiss against her lips, and she fell into him. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she allowed him to hold her as he entwined his lips with hers.

Now, this was the Will she knew, his lips tasted like coffee and cream, his hair smelt like sweet jasmine from her shampoo he had used the night before, and his touch was warm and embracing. God… she loved him.

"Marry me.." he whispered against her lips.

"No" she giggled,

"Marry me. Marry me. Marry me." He repeated against her face, pressing soft kisses against every inch of her face.

"Okay." She whispered back, fell under him like glue, like a school girl who couldn't refuse her own crush, like a shark who couldn't resist the taste of blood, she agreed to his aspire in one fluid motion, in a matter of minutes her entire perspective had changed.

"Okay?" he questioned, she couldn't deny that he seemed surprised, she didn't blame him either, she herself was baffled by her answer.

She nodded absentmindedly and smiled, the flicker of hope filled with water that shadowed his eyes warmed her heart with joy. "Yes."

As they gazed into one another's eyes, it was as if they were the only people in the world, he picked her up and twirled her around his arms, causing a yelp of laughter to succumb from inside her stomach. She vaguely wrapped her legs around his waist and allowed her arms to slide around his broad shoulders, his smile broadened against her lips and it was similar to a bell ringing in her head. This was happiness. This was what she wanted.


	10. Chapter 10

She walked down the halls of her firm, how they had gotten here was difficult. Shortly after the final decision four months prior, Lockhart Gardner shipped into Alicia and Cary's new set of offices. They were luxurious at its best, partly the reason Will and Diane decided to move.

She now held the highest law firm in the state of Illinois, they were expanding shortly, right through the states and Will and Alicia were planning on moving to New York for several months as soon as Grace was settled in at Georgetown. She smiled at the thought of him. Her life had changed so dramatically in the last four months, when it came to home time, she lived in bliss, weekends spent out on the ranch, week nights spent with Will in her bed, afternoons consumed with Grace and Will battling it out on the PlayStation whilst she coherently tried to complete at least her work and half of his. He would always call her a 'killjoy' when she wanted to be an adult.

She had never pictured it being this great, when she had agreed to marry him –spontaneously – she was wary to the direction of the decision, would they make it? How would they cope through the hard times? Was he really aware of what the term _marriage_ meant? And yet again, her suspicions were proved wrong, they had their times of barriers and disputes, but it always came back to the reality of it all, even at their age, they were both, madly, hopelessly in love with each other.

Currently, Will, Diane and Cary were camped out in her office, discussing Cary's case on the bulletin board, she encountered the sight of two bouquets of flowers settled on her office table. From a distance she could clearly see that one had her photo with Oprah Winfey nestled in between the flowers; she had recently done an interview with her, Alicia had only accepted it under the knowledge that once done, her life would return to normal, no more press, no more back talk, it had all vanished, Grace was happy, Zach was happy, Peter was also, and she was happy –with Will.

Grabbing the note, she settled her belongings on the desk and found a place for the photo to sit, Will's gaze absentmindedly followed hers and grasped the photo from a viewing point, he snickered and rolled his eyes light-heartedly.

She swatted his shoulder, silently directing him to return back to the far corner of the room where Diane and Cary sat discussing the case, and once he was out of her chair, she sat down, almost elegantly and flipped her reading glasses on. "You're staring," she said, noticed the way his gaze ran over her from her peripheral vision.

"You're sexy." he whispered only for her ears, he grasped the apple from her purse and sat on the edge of her desk, she sighed in defeat and stared up at him through her lashes.

Smiling smugly, she shook her head. "Honestly. You and Cary are like children. Do your work!"

"Why should I when you can do it for the rest of us?" he responded, to which she swatted him with a few papers. He descended himself from her desk, and she allowed her gaze to rest on Cary and them from a far, never in her wildest dreams had she pictured it being this way, especially from the drama that had taken place in the last year, nor had she imagined seven years ago that she would own the largest law firm in the city.

Her mind snapped back to reality as the phone rang and Eli's name flashed across the screen.

"Hello Eli."

"Guess how much the ratings were on your interview last night?!"

She sighed, "I can't be bothered guessing, so just tell me."

"13 million!" she could almost feel his smile through the phone.

"Wow. That's a lot."

"That's enormous! We weren't expecting it to be so large."

"If you weren't expecting it, why the hell did you give me Oprah?"

"I thought you liked her!"

She sighed, "I do. It's just a bit too much Eli."

"Well, it's over now, so you won't have to deal with any more of my evasive phone calls." She could almost feel him roll his eyes from the other end.

She laughed at his comment and turned around in her chair as she folded her right leg over her left and gazed towards the wall. "I expect to see you at the wedding?"

"Depends. Does it involve horses and manure?"

She laughed again, "You mean does it involve the downsides of my stepfather's ranch?"

He coughed, almost mockingly. "Yes."

"Unfortunately it does, but I expect to see you nonetheless."

"Can I bring a guest?"

"Now that depends. Who's the lucky lady?"

"Well, I was thinking the Governor but I think gentlemen is a better way to put it. Also, I'm sure a few reporters would love to attend the special event as well."

"Ha ha." She grinned, "Very funny."

She heard the phone beep against her ear and shook her head, "That's my call. I'll speak to you later."

She ended Eli's call and rolled her eyes as her mother's name flashed across the screen. "Yes mother."

"Hi darling. I was just wondering, what colour wine Will prefers for thanksgiving?"

"Both. And make sure to purchase as much as possible. We're going to need all of it."

Veronica had – inconveniently –invited everyone to Indiana for the thanksgiving weekend, Owen and his latest boyfriend, Bill's family, and half the populace of the members on the ranch, she wasn't sure how it would turn out, but if any of their previous gatherings had taught her anything, it was that her family was not one to dwell on. She was thankful that the man she loved accepted them for what they were, and that he actually _wanted_ to be a part of their lives including the baggage that Alicia held, all including the horse she was madly in love with.

His patience was engaging, she had to admit. Since her little fall off Sapphire, Will had been wary of the animal from then, he would fidget in his seat as he watched her lead the horse with her own two hands, as if he were ready to leap up from his seat, risk his life for her safety. She found it endearing, and she couldn't blame him, if it were the other way around, allowing Will to possibly risk his life would kill her, she'd most likely kick him off before he took a step, so his patience and knowledge of how much having Sapphire in her life made her happy, outweighed her perspective towards him, and it only made her love Will so much more. He had the heart of a gentleman and the soul of a lover.

She only wished it hadn't taken her so long to recognise it.

She felt his hand entwine with hers as he led them out of the office, it was nights like this where she valued him above all else, where she desired him in her more than anything, and if he could read her mind, he would probably take her up against the wall now and make love to her right then and there.

She couldn't help but notice the broad smile that was printed on his face during the drive home, she caught his glances from a far and raised a brow each time. "What?"

"Nothing."

She rolled her eyes half-heartedly and returned her attention towards the buildings that passed by. Whatever he was holding back, she was determined to find out, even if it meant threatening him.

"We have to be fast," she said as they pulled out in the parking garage. "Grace has already packed her bags and I forgot to remind my assistant to grab my dry cleaning so will have to stop on the way to Indiana."

"Hold on tiger, we have plenty of time." He grinned, grasped her hand as they made their way to the elevator.

"We have less than three hours before the sun sets and I want to take Sapphire out before dusk."

"I'm sure the horse can wait till the morning. I, on the other hand, have a surprise for you in which I'm sure you'll be entirely pleased."

She stared at him in warning. "You know how much I hate surprises."

He brought her hand up to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to it. "Don't stress. You'll like this one."

She allowed her eyes to set on him for several seconds before laughing. She was so insatiable she wondered how he put up with her. She smiled as he laughed and snuggled into his embrace, pressed a soft kiss against his neck and felt his arms circle her in a loving embrace.

As soon she incounted the apartment, it seemed lifeless, she dropped her belongings on the counter and heard Will's voice behind her.

"Hun, will have to stop at my place on the way as well, all my clothes here are in the wash."

Before she could reply she felt two pair of hands cover her eyes from behind, she immediately pulled them down and turned around, gasping in surprise, she took in the broad smile that was spread across Zach's face.

She immediately wrapped her arms around her eldest and squealed in delight. "Surprise."

"What are you doing here!" she vaguely felt tears brim in her eyes, tried her best to resist them. Will came up from beside Grace and she couldn't ignore the smile that was printed on his lips.

"I lied about coming home thanksgiving weekend. I wanted to come a week earlier so I could surprise you."

She pulled him to her chest once more and sighed. "Oh I missed you."

She hadn't seen Zach in less than a year. Nor did she have the chance to visit him, so she embraced him firmer and heard him laugh. "Mom, you're squashing me."

"I'm sorry." She ruffled his hair, "I'm just so happy you're here."

"Me too."

"Can we go now?" Grace whined, glancing down at her watch. "Will said he would grab his iPad from his place and I want to beat all his high scores."

She often wondered if underneath the seventeen year old, there was still a kid at heart. She made her way into the bedroom, and dressed down into a much comfier attire, simple dark jeans, boots, coat and scarf before throwing in some spears and toiletries for the weekend. It had only been two weeks since her last visit, it was lonely, to say the least, mostly because Will couldn't go with her and she spent most of the agonizing weekend listening to her mother talk about her trip to Bali.

That was partly the reason she enjoyed having Will as her companion to the ranch each weekend, other than his keen manner and warm arms to snuggle into at night, he was a good ally with her mother, he enjoyed her company –genuinely – which Alicia found undeniably crazy. And he never failed to object on it, she was coming to the realisation that maybe he enjoyed it out there more than she did, the need to escape reality. She was aware his mind was not fully adjusted to the horses yet, in fact he was the complete obvious. Like Grace, he hated the smell of them, he disliked how staunch and outsized they were, he disliked how easily one of them could hurt her without a glance back.

The hairs on the back of her neck rose as she heard the voices of her son and her fiancé outside her bedroom. "So, have you and mom decided on a date yet?"

The sound of the dishwasher began to fumble, and she figured they must be toying with the dirty silverware.

"No, not yet anyway. I think your mom just wants to take things slow."

"We should go to Disney land." Says Grace. Several seconds of silence passed until Alicia heard the familiar sound of her son laughing.

"I'm serious! I read this article about this couple who married near the teacup ride. It's where they met when they were young."

"I don't think mom and Will met at Disney land though Grace."

"Does it matter?"

"Yes. It matters to mom and Will."

She heard Will laughing, visioned him placing his hands up in defence. "Honestly. I don't care, as long as I marry her."

"Well, it's a better idea than an old courtroom, or the ranch."

"What's wrong with the ranch?" she announced her presence. Rounding the corner, she made her way towards the coffee machine and grabbed an empty flask filling it.

"It stinks of cow and manure."

"I agree with Grace." Her fiancé said,

She rolled her eyes and raised a brow towards her son, Zach shrugged in response. "I don't care where it is as long as I don't have to do a speech."

"Two out of two, lost verdict and the trial is adjourned for today. We have to hit the road before your grandmother thinks that I'm deliberately keeping you away from her."

Grace picked her bag off the floor. "We can appeal right?" she asked Will.

He shrugged. "I don't know, your mom's a pretty good lawyer, and your brother would make a good ally and witness."

"Maybe we can ask Diane to help us out."

Alicia laughed, and shrugged them outside of the door. "Ha ha. Very funny you two."

* * *

><p>The moment they entered the large house, the scent of food mingled her nostrils. Veronica came out with arms outstretched towards Zach, who hugged her in his most awkward position. Her mother hadn't failed to embrace Will as well, Alicia shook her head at her intolerableness.<p>

She made her way up the staircase, through the hallway towards the end to her room and dumped their belongings on the bed. She rushed outside through the backway down the patio. "Where are you going?" She heard her mother ask.

She waved her off. "I won't be long."

She ran a hand through Sapphire's thin fur, and snuggled into her warmth. She smelt like strawberry soap, Michael must have washed her down. "Hey sweet girl." She looked up, grasping her attention. "I missed you."

She mostly rode Sapphire because she was aware more than anything that the animal was permitted to stay indoors most days, her heels were impacting her joints each time she ran, which was a vivid sign that she was growing almost to her turning point. The thought of losing her shattered Alicia to her very core. She was a grown woman, attached to a fifteen year old horse, and it was indeed irrational, but Sapphire was so much more than a horse.

She allowed Sapphire to run around the field for several minutes on her own, she pounced in the air, flicked her body around, and Alicia stood against the rail allowing the clock to tick by as she gave her enough time to escape from the stables. Alicia admired her with all her being, she was truly remarkable, just the simple sight of her walking was stunning.

She felt a pair of arms slip around her waist from behind and gasped in surprise, turning around, she took in the smug smile of her fiancé's lips and grasped the chance to wrap her arms around his neck as she stared up at him.

He kissed the tip of her nose… "Your mom told me to come and get you, dinner was ready a half an hour ago and she's pissed."

"I'm sure she's just being a drama queen."

"I wouldn't exaggerate it, she's as stubborn as you are."

"Hmm, funny." He grinned in response and allowed her to press her lips against his, it started out slow of course, until she felt his tongue press against hers. She pulled him to her chest with force. "Ow." He mumbled against her lips, she smiled and watched with distain as he pulled back slightly to look at her.

"I'm beginning to think those arms of yours hold a lot more force than what I had imagined."

She placed a hand above her chest in mock horror, "I'm highly offended Gardner, you should know by now what my strengths are."

"You are so insatiable, it's hilarious."

She chuckled quietly to herself, and began to lean in for yet another passionate kiss, until she felt a large force push Will causing him to stumble on his feet. She looked up to see Sapphire had her head against him, trying to push him out of the way. She tried to stifle a laugh at what was going on, she watched with heavy amusement as Will threw the animal a vast glare.

"Woah, hold on. She's mine! Get your own." Will said, wrapping an arm around her waist.

Sapphire puffed in annoyance, Alicia could only laugh in response. "That's enough." She pointed to both of them. She patted the stallions soft fur, and pressed her lips against it's head like she had done many times before. "There's really no need you know."

"I honestly I don't understand what you see in her. She's bossy, and arrogant, not to mention entitled to everything that comes her way." After a second, he began to laugh, throwing her slightly off guard, she raised a brow in his direction curiously.

"She's exactly like you."

That had been his last, she pushed his hard chest with her knuckles. She recognized he may have been visiting the gym repeatedly in the last month because she scrunch her fist as pain began to seep through. She wasn't afraid to admit that she had a fiancé who visited the gym daily, but then again, it had its downsides.

"Ow!. That's it. I can't take any more of this." He lifted her up onto his shoulder and spun hr around, she laughed in delight and hit his backside. It was a game of theirs, whenever they were alone, and either one got out of hand, she would usually tackle him to the ground with laughter, though, Will always won, and she couldn't deny it.

"Will!" she giggled. "Put me down! Put me down!"

He placed her carefully on the ground, above the soft green grass and stared into her eyes, grinning self-righteously. "Not until you say your mine." She felt his hand travel to her waist, and he began to tickle her with his fingers, she squirmed.

She usually lost to this sequence of their game, however, this time she wasn't going to let up. "No."

She covered her eyes, childishly, and laughed as he began to assault her with delight. He was more aware by now how tickling was her week spot, even more so when it came to _his_ touch, she was doubled over in laughter.

"Okay! Okay!" she giggled, peaked up at him through her fingers. "I'm yours."

He smiled to himself, undeniably gorgeous and smug. "That's right."

She brought his lips down to hers, cradled his head in her hands as she closed her eyes and allowed him to kiss her softly. He pulled his lips from hers, and she stared into his dark chocolate brown eyes, whispered his favourite words. "I love you."

* * *

><p>As the sun slowly turned over, and she and Will finally returned back to the house after watching it set below the hills, they ate dinner along the patio, she listened intently to Zach's stories from college, and Grace's ambitions once she was to move there in three months. The thought of watching another child leave, letting her youngest move out of the home for good, still made her feel queasy, but she was beginning to realize that it did not mean the end of the universe, it was the beginning of a new chapter, she had Will now.<p>

She snuggled on the sofa next to Owen as he sat out reading a book, he immediately threw the book on the ground and allowed her to wrap an arm around his shoulder. "Edward Cullen." He whispered in her ear.

She laughed, "What?"

"That's what he is" he pointed towards Will, she followed his gaze only to be met by the sight of Will talking to Veronica. "The way he looks at you." Owen laughed to himself. "It's like he's ready to jump in front of a bullet for you."

She smiled to herself, and smacked him on the head. "What crack pipe have you gotten yourself into this time?"

He rolled his eyes, "I'm serious!" It was clear that he was highly upset, she found it adorable. "I want you to be happy sis."

"I am happy."

He smiled, "I know. That's what makes it so great."

She snuggled into him, her little brother, who wasn't so little anymore, was finally maturing. They had their many differences in the past, but he would _always_ be her best friend through thick and thin. "Hey, future brother inlaw?" He said to Will, grabbing his attention.

"I could really use a bottle of bear right now."

Will rolled his eyes, grinning. "Really Owen? You just finished a whole bottle of wine."

Owen placed his finger up in defence, "And I still have yet to contemplate what we're doing for your bachelor party."

Will sighed, grinning, he shook his head. "I swear, this sibling rivalry thing you've alluded me into is going to come crashing down one day."

"Less chit chat, more alcohol." As he had descended off inside, she laughed loudly at Owen whose need to repeat how much here fiance's ass was catching all woman's attention in the area. She looked around just in time to see one of the ranch men's wives sneaking glances at Will's backside. Alicia couldn't deny the possessiveness that seeped through her in that moment.

Once everyone had disappeared into their rooms later on that night, she was the last to switch the tv off and made her way upstairs. Will sat on his side of the bed, books and papers surrounding him as he wore his reading glasses. She tried to grasp his attention by slowly discarding her cardigan off and leaving it on the floor. His head remained down as he flipped through a page.

She slipped out of her boots followed by her jeans, leaving her only in a bra, tank top and underwear. She walked over to his side, removed the papers from his lap and straddled him, his eyes surveyed her body in somewhat of astonishment before he made eye contact with her. She slowly removed his reading glasses and placed them above her own, she was aware that he enjoyed the sight of her wearing them. "Have I ever told you how sexy you are in these?"

"What? My glasses?" he chuckled

She nodded. "Yea, you look like woody alen."

"I do not!"

She laughed, and pressed her lips against his chastely, she shifted her lips behind his ear and kissed it sensitively.

"You know, you could have just asked for my attention dear." She heard him say, which brought a cheesy grin to her features.

"Bath?" she whispered.

She felt his hands travel under her top, they were cold, so when she felt his fingers graze her skin lightly, she shivered under his touch. The smug smile on his face was undeniable. They had been busy all week, with the new set of clients coming in, and another one of Colin Sweeney's large cases to deal with, they hadn't had enough time for intimacy in at least two weeks, so when she whispers. "Make love to me." After five minutes of passionate kissing, she means it.

He flips her onto her back, the intensity in his eyes is almost frightening, she's seen this look before, on many occasions and it always gets her going below zero. He knows it.

"I love it when you get all fanatical with your words." He says, presses his lips against the shell of her ear. "Makes my temperature drop."

"You make my temperature drop." She says, "And it's so unfair when you do it whilst we're in a deposition."

"I don't see you complaining in my private bathroom.." she placed her index finger above his lips and giggled, "Let's not talk about those experiences. I still blush at it."

His finger grazes down her abdomen, he toys with her underwear, and pushes it down, she whimpers whilst shrugging it off and pulls him down for another passionate kiss. Once again, the knowledge that their bedroom is the furthest from the others, eases her mind when he slips into her slowly, and she moans inside his mouth, grips his back tightly to the point where her sharp nails begin to leave marks. He pauses, and looks down at her, as if she's the only person in the world the he's ever loved, he's done this before, and she loves the way he stares at her when they're amongst the moment.

She wasn't expecting his rhythm to be so staunch - not that she was complaining. She wrapped her legs tightly around his waist, creating that perfect angle, held onto his broad shoulders as she allowed him to make slow, and graceful love to her. His pace was slow at first, until he started to pulsate through her, causing her own inner walls to build, she was close, he could tell, and just when she thought she was about to come, he removed himself from her before slamming into her hips. The sound of Owen and Grace's music downstairs outweighed the house. And Alicia couldn't deny that she was extremely grateful for their Friday night parties.

Her scream was muffled into the curve of his neck, and his own satisfaction was muffled inside her pillow. He rested his head on her chest for several seconds whilst she stroked his back softly. She smiled as he lifted his weight off her gently, before pressing a light kiss against her nose and laying against her side, spent in bliss and consumed in breathlessness.

"I'll never get tired of this." She said after several minutes passed by, flipping herself to cuddle next to him, resting the palm of her hand on his chest, she stared up at him as the moonlight from the window shined on his perfect, baby skin face. "I'm serious. We hardly sleep because of it, we don't have children to occupy, we can barely maintain ourselves at work, and once Grace leaves for college, will have the place to ourselves. I mean, how are we gunna stop?"

She figured by the way he laughed in retort, he assumed she was only kidding, which she wasn't, but she wasn't afraid to admit that she enjoyed amusing him. He brought his hand up to cup her face and pushed a strand of hair behind ear. "Diane said the other day, at some point, we would have to control ourselves, because she thinks our clients are beginning to notice the sexual tension."

"She said that?"

He only nodded in response.

She bursted into laughter, heavy and entertaining in all the possible comical ways one would laugh at a simple joke of Diane Lockharts, though, Alicia knew deep down that the older woman was most likely not joking at all.

She rested the side of her head against his chest, the grin on her face still visible as she regained herself from laughing. He played with her hair, and she entwined her hand with his, pressed a soft kiss against his wrist. They both allowed the silence to fill, his breathing became shallow, and just as she thought he was on the verge of closing his eyes, he whispered in the dead of night.

"Do you think.." he began, softly. "You and I will last forever?"

She lifted her head gently to glance up at him and rested her chin above his breast. "What do you mean?"

He sighed and gazed towards the ceiling, he shrugged. "I think some people are underestimating our fate."

"What?"

"People in the office, I heard some of our employees saying that we wouldn't last a year before divorcing."

"Who said that?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "I don't care who it was. The point is that it resonated through me. I don't want to wake up one morning and have regrets Alicia."

Slowly, by each aching second that passed, she felt her heart gradually rip. Was he suggesting what she thought he was? Was he saying that he didn't think they would work? She sat up, and acknowledge that he had no emotion in his face. She naively wondered if this had been a game plan right from the beginning. She felt tears pool in her eyes at the idea, and quickly pulled away from his embrace, rebuffing the need for him to see her vulnerable yet again.

Before she could remove herself completely from the bed, he sat up and shuffled the sheets off, grasped her arm and sat next to her on the edge of the bed. "Why would you say that?" She said, emotional. "Why do you have to listen to other people's opinions Will? Do you not understand how much I _hate_ them?"

"I know, it's not…" he sighed, baffled. He stroked her cheek softly whilst she avoided his gaze, and she felt his lips press against her hair. "I'm sorry, I think we're drifting off the main topic here." He tried to throw in some humour by chuckling. It didn't faze her.

"If you don't want to marry me Will, just say so."

From the corner of her eye she could see his face drop, it eased her mind a little.

"I want to marry you so much it hurts."

Almost on instinct her heart softened, just in the way he said it, as if his throat couldn't contain enough oxygen. How could she ever deny him? She felt so stupid for underestimating his feelings.

"I'm just worried that one day will drift a part like last time.. You of all people know how hopeless I am at relationships, and I've never been married before, I don't know what to do." He said concurrently, she couldn't contain the hint of a smile that played behind her lips.

She ran her hand through his messy bedhead, almost blushed at the memory of her hands running through it moments before along the heat of their steamy orgasm.

"Just be yourself." She said simply, shrugging. "You don't have to achieve husband of the year in order to please me Will. You just have to love me."

"But that seems so easy." The fake pout on his lips made her giggle. He pulled her in his arms, she snuggled into the curve of his shoulder and allowed him to hold her in his warmth.

They weren't usually this neighboured, they weren't one of those couples that kissed each other every waking minute, they were both separate personalities, enjoyed their space. There was the occasional love making in his private bathroom, or the random moments where she took the time to admire his ass, but they loved each other simultaneously, when she moved, he moved in synch, when she desired quality time alone, he relished the opportunity to watch the game in his apartment alone, when she crossed the street, he was always there to hold her hand. When she moved. He moved. She couldn't imagine a life without Will Gardner.

She whispered quietly after their second round, her body was rested above his chest, head dug into it as she regained her breathing. "I am never going to let you go again."

He laughed, his eyes were closed, and his breathing seemed to have calmed down. She envied him for having such a large lack fatigue from a result of his fit body. She suddenly wished she had taken his advice in Georgetown and participated in the gym with him more often.

"Am I supposed to object?"

"I'm serious, If something as stupid as that ever happens again you'll be tied with a chain in my stepfather's basement and I'll make sure to feed your limbs to my horse."

"I should probably be worried now then right?" he said, smiling, eyes still closed. She pressed her lips against his. "Yes you should."

"That can only mean I'll have forever to convince you that you're everything I ever wanted."

She smiled to herself, she knew he was aware of how much his strong words had such an impact on her, and he often liked to use it at it's best advantage.

Her body covered his, legs entwined completely, with his arms wrapped around her waist, she found herself falling for him more than ever during moments like these, she loved to know that she was chief of his heart, that she was able to straddle him in the most uncomfortable position and he could fall asleep simultaneously without so much of an objection to their attire.

She brought her left hand up to her vision, and gazed at the white oval of diamonds displayed along her finger, on instinct he entwined his hand with hers and kissed the inside of her wrist. She pressed her lips against his heart in response, rested her chin on his chest and whispered softly. "I am _soo _happy."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thats it guys! I did say 10 chapters didn't I? Its been a pleasure writing this, and i honestly can't thank you all enough for taking to it. I don't want to babble, but I do hope this has healed at least half the pain the kings have left us with for the past year. Willicia will always be endgame! **


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